Holding the Frequency

I had been plagued with extreme states of exhaustion. Mainly after "exposure" to the 3D world out there. In order to bridge the gap between my own vibratory frequency and the one of the folks "out there", I had done what I had gotten used to very early in life. I had dialed down into "their" radio station in order to feel that I am a part of them. (That was the child's view of things).

This was a very necessary strategy back when I was growing up, for otherwise I would not have been able to be a part of this world and the exciting experiences at all. For the last 2 years however, I found that this dialing down business wasn't working any longer. Well, it was working, but there was a price to pay - these states of exhaustion creeped up on me more and more always after having been "out there" among people. I figured it was just my slightly autistic streak that just made me not want to be among many people, but that didn't quite fit what my intuition told me.

A while back, maybe a year ago, I had come to the decision that dialing down just wasn't it any longer. If people were wanting to share my energy, they just simply had to dial up. I was bold in this assumption and found myself doing what I had trained myself so strongly - I kept dialing down my own vibration. It was as if I couldn't control this thing. So I paid the price and after each trip to the outside world stayed at home for hours to recuperate and get back into my own comfy frequency.

So just a few weeks ago, I've taken a new attempt at this. I have decided to remain steadfast, I had intended to hold my frequency no matter what other frequencies I would encounter and I have observed the patterns of my own frequency very closely to stop myself from dialing down. Thus I've learned to remain in my frequency and all my ideas of how it would isolate me from others did just not come to pass. They were wrong assumptions, distorted ideas of mine. I found that I was still able to interact with people, actually with a lot more ease than before when I had actually distorted my own frequency to match theirs.

The blessing in being stubborn and remaining in my frequency is that I manage to come home after my "outings" and I don't have to spend hours finding my groove again. I have no feelings of "why couldn't I do this earlier?", for I believe that dialing down was part of how I was supposed to live, if not for those around me, at least for me to gain a clearer understanding of frequencies and how to handle them. All I needed to be successful was enough stubbornness and keen awareness to hold myself back when that dialing down process wanted to start up each time I went outside among people. Now, I march through the stores, heart wide open, blissful smile on my face, getting my shopping done just the same. I actually get more smiles and yearning looks than I ever have before and spreading love throughout the masses, feels just like the thing to do.