Tuesday, May 31, 2011

A Cleansing

This time is as good as any, or perhaps it's high time, to let go of some old, moldy, dusty, worn out sweaters or other constructs. The cleansing is swift, extreme and thorough. Help is ever present, even if I push it far away, in a misguided attempt of maintaining some sort of sovereignty within myself. The net of illusions that I had bought into, created myself in part and maintained for many decades is crumbling. There is hope that it's not just another layer of the well known patterns and designs of old. It's a hope so deep, a yearning so strong that this last push is symbolic not only for my own personal development, but also for a greater purpose. The greater purpose bit may sound a bit strange here, but nothing I have ever done, worked through or accomplished, completed or initiated has ever been for myself alone. I cannot think it to be different at this place I am finding myself today. For sure, there is the "me" part that is also bound in this process, but I sense many present, I am not alone in this.

Like a tsunami, the waves of cleansing wash through me with all force. The patterns of bitterness, disappointment, missing out, self-defeat and disbelief, all borne in fear and no longer necessary for a new world, are being released among many others. Showers of unconditional love return back to me, fill the gaps, there is a wobbly sense of newness that I am finding myself in. I hesitate to fully embrace it, I am curious but wary at the same time. Most of all, I am weary and very tired of seeing the flaws and results that being human has produced in its wake. I ask for forgiveness for these flaws. I spread out my heart in full trust that I am already forgiven. I surrender to the gentle touch of angel wings, sent my way by angels on high. I hold no concept on how to be any longer. Love is all there is.

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