Saturday, December 18, 2010

Who am I ?

One of the earliest questions I remember ever asking myself was "Who am I?" This question, as simple as it was to ask it, turned out one of the questions with as many answers as I could conceive and even then, in the totality of having seen and exerienced the many facets of who I am, of having become quite conscious of the complexities of the soul energies, I still keep adding to the existing definitions of who I am. I know that part of me carries still the yearning to be recognized by others. If others know who I am, perhaps my eternal question of "Who am I ?" will find the ultimate answer.

This is quite a wobbly path, for as long as I don't know who I am, others will only be able to reflect parts of me back to me. Some will show me I am "this bit" and others will show me that I am "that bit" and it is all of incredible value. It is in receiving, accepting and integrating the totality of my experiences here in the land of mirrors that I will find the ultimate answer. I get more than glimpses at who I am. I think I may be blessed that way. However I cannot fully say that my question, which popped up over 40 years ago is fully answered.

Perhaps my ultimate blessing was, that at the tender age of 7, I formulated that question, kept it in my heart and soul to treasure it as a catalyst for spiritual growth. To satify this curiosity was and still is the absolute ultimate goal of my existence in this form. It's all consuming, it has been obsessive at times; it has given way to calmer expressions since those days, but I cannot say, that this question has ceased to fascinate me.

Of course, now a few decades later, I begin to glean understanding of the function of such a catalyst and I am almost (just not quite) resigned that I may not get my one answer in this lifetime. However, for as long as this curiosity resides in me, I know I will keep looking at the mirrors of my reality. I will keep understanding that "I am that too" (quote by Peter Müller, Switzerland) and by doing that, I hope to eventually understand more and more what that ominous fulfilling answer will be.


  1. I am every day amazed by the way my identity shifts in this life of mirrors. Amazed, for one, that the mirrors take the time to hold my image long enough for me to witness their holding. Even more amazed by my role as a mirror witnessing others.

    It takes a lot of practice to be a good mirror.

  2. Thanks for your comment Jon. Most interesting thing that began happening to me is that I recognize consciously when I'm but a mirror for others. That's when I do or say things that are sometimes out of balance with how I perceive myself. It's like stepping out of the comfort zone of my own sensation to do another a favor - at least that's how I perceive it. It takes practice to be conscious, that's for sure :)

  3. "Das bin ich auch" (I am that too) was born, as i understood, that we all need to draw a line between what we are and what we are not. The question "Who am I?" is often answered with "I am not this", instead of understanding what we are. Our surrounding tells us , what we are, like you are a boy (not a girl), you are a child (not adult), you are good (not bad), you are nice (not ugly), and so on and on.
    So we should tell our children, "you are this too", to make them grow up in inner freedom, even if we cannot change our burnt-in opinion about ourselves...*smile*