Sunday, May 29, 2011

Letting Go of Control

The last week has been one big whirlwind of events for me. I have hardly had time to realize what is going on. This does have a purpose, for it gave me the experience that floating within the energetic events of these times is good enough. It has become very evident to me, that I do not need to know the origin, purpose and intent of every tiny energetic wobble occurring in my life. With the inability to focus on any one particular thing, I have been lead to let go of every shred of need for control that may still linger within my system. The wish to know "what on Earth is this, or that, what is going on" etc. is a form of wanting to grasp ahold of it, control it and possibly direct the energetic flow or align myself with it. I have seen that that is in stark contrast to the opportunities offered if I let go of control and step into the flow of  the Now. I can trust that everything, and I mean absolutely every little detail, is wonderfully and perfectly exactly what and where and how it is supposed to be.

Then, I sometimes wonder, and yes, I struggle with it a little bit at times, when to take action or when to allow. These concepts are both not experienced in the dualistic sense, but the understanding that sometimes, action is required, when other times allowing and letting go is on the menu.

I find that trying to decipher the intricacies of these moments, i.e. when to take action or leave things be, presents me with difficulties. The experiences of last week however showed me very clearly, that if I let go of the control over having to divine or decipher things, I will find myself presented with the solution in a very recognizable manner. Thus, without my active efforts, (I simply had no time to devote to that), I had been called to action and I had been asked to let things go. From moment to moment, I was able to listen to that inner impulse and react instantly and perfectly to what was before me. I found myself at times almost like wanting to "catch up", but I was unable to. There was a definite sense of loss of control, and I'm mighty glad that that has happened this way. Control was instilled in me with my mother's milk so to speak. It is very much part of the Germanic trait of my ancestry. To arrive at this place where control is not only unnecessary, but to be able to make the experience that although it is an eerie feeling of free fall, it is quite alright at the same time, was an eye opener. After all, the fact that I am able to write about it, shows me in no uncertain terms that I survived that free fall just fine.

Every day, more "events" are being talked about, celestial events, community events, Mayan calendar events, what have you. They are all attempts to get informed, to know what's going on, and to me they lead straight back into the place of ending up where I just had moved away from - a place of "being on top of things", a place of being in control over the events (even if this sense of control is not real and the feeling of actually being in control is just a delusion).

Today, I choose to smile, to take one moment at the time, the Now moment preferably. I let the prophesies, dates and forecasts flow through me unhindered. They do not interest me any longer. I do this consciously with the only thought in mind that being in control is not real, the need for control is not real. The only thing I can be in control of is my heart. It is the center of love, unconditional love that is. This I have control over - or in the words of a source of eternal wisdom: "Love is the key to all portals, it is the answer to all questions - be the horizon of your own heart!"

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