Every day I am reminded by little things that bring a very tiny moment of joy into my heart. Be it that I see compassion in another human being flicker through a normally quite tough protective shell, or just a flower that has erupted suddenly into an amazingly big blossom. Simple things like for instance the fact that some of my vegetables have now passed their initial baby-stages at least somewhat unharmed by the many slugs in our garden, so that they are now big enough that a few nibbles don't matter much, can bring such warmth to my day that I find myself gazing at my garden beds with a broad grin on my face.
It's quite innocent and one could even call it naive, but I thoroughly believe that these tiny, "unimportant" things in my life are the single most important little reminders I am given. I couldn't wish for a better system really. It is of course then up to me to expand on these moments. I can choose to see the world like a little child, amazed and in wonderment. I can positively and actively make this choice. I am invited to make this choice by these seemingly small moments, that carry such huge potential in a direction of experiencing and living in total beauty.
As I give in and train myself to heed these moments where nature's beauty touches my heart and soul, it seems to me I'm in an energetic flow that is similar to a waterfall. Once I find myself in that flow, my awareness expands to flit from one little thing to the next, until there is a cascade of tiny things that bring joy into my life. It's a network really and I give in, for it's far too delicious not to.
The most fantastic thing is, that the more I give in, the more pronounced my experience becomes. If I do it more and more frequently, a pattern emerges and I find myself used to seeing the world like this. The more I live and train a pattern, the greater my new creation of my personal reality becomes. It is my choice, it is my responsibility what I focus on. It is always my own decision and daily, I choose the little things that bring me joy and show me beauty.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Done Judging
Only when we are open enough to laugh loudly at who we are, what behavior patterns we still follow regularly, can we find that place in our hearts, where we find it easier to embrace each and every ounce of who we are, regardless of whether the things we find are especially enlightened, pretty much the lowest points of our lives, the glorious achievements in the outside world, or our quiet, unseen personal triumphs.
When we have truly reached the point, when we can fully accept the totality of who we encounter when we observe ourselves, then I foresee a wave of relief to wash across the whole of humanity, cleansing us from every little bit of judgment that we experience. This in full knowledge, that we have ceased to judge ourselves and the reflection of judgment that we encounter in our realities just isn't there any longer. When this happens on a broad spectrum, we will find more and more humans in awe of their fellow man, in awe mainly because of the incredible amount of diversity and varied expressions that exist and can be shared. When this happens, fear of being judged can be an experience of the past that does no longer need to be re-created.
We all have the power to begin with a very simple step of stopping the inner critic from spewing forth his or her continuous stream of judgment at every twist and turn of our earthly experience. The more we are able to accept ourselves fully as we are, the more we will experience acceptance from others, the more we will accept them in turn... the avalanche is ready to sweep the world. Who's with me?
When we have truly reached the point, when we can fully accept the totality of who we encounter when we observe ourselves, then I foresee a wave of relief to wash across the whole of humanity, cleansing us from every little bit of judgment that we experience. This in full knowledge, that we have ceased to judge ourselves and the reflection of judgment that we encounter in our realities just isn't there any longer. When this happens on a broad spectrum, we will find more and more humans in awe of their fellow man, in awe mainly because of the incredible amount of diversity and varied expressions that exist and can be shared. When this happens, fear of being judged can be an experience of the past that does no longer need to be re-created.
We all have the power to begin with a very simple step of stopping the inner critic from spewing forth his or her continuous stream of judgment at every twist and turn of our earthly experience. The more we are able to accept ourselves fully as we are, the more we will experience acceptance from others, the more we will accept them in turn... the avalanche is ready to sweep the world. Who's with me?
Friday, July 29, 2011
A Vast and Empty Mind
Ever found yourself in a place where there is absolutely nothing to say? I've touched upon this place a time or two during my commitment to say something on a daily basis. Today is such a day. I've tried a number of times, but for the love of writing and words, I can't come up with anything witty, smart nor important enough to say. I decide to write how I feel, in order not to miss out on my daily promise that I have made to myself, but somehow it does feel a bit like a cop-out. Shouldn't I say nothing, if there's nothing that moves me? Shouldn't I just honor this emptiness in my mind and let things unfold as they do? I believe on some level that I actually should just skip a day - or two - or even a week.Immediately, however, I feel a sense of sadness spread through my being. A thought of breaking a promise has reached my mind. I take promises very seriously.
So I take a moment to explore this empty head of mine. A part of me is very peaceful with this calm mind. Isn't it the very thing that the wisdom traditions promote? "Still your mind !" I've heard it way too many times. Well, now the mind is still and I'm actually finding myself hard pressed to be talkative.
The stillness is a vast ocean. It's deep. There is an incredible amount of space for raw potential. That space is not being utilized at this moment and I have no other choice than to accept that. Often, I can bring myself to be empty enough to find a spark, an idea, something that tickles my fancy. Today, I rest in my peaceful emptiness, knowing that I haven't written up the greatest story, the most inspirational thing or anything that could even come close. Far from it. Today, all I have in this last hour before my deadline is the surrender into the empty mind and my expansion of the calm comfort it brings. There are no "shoulds", there is only that which is and as it is, it is exactly how it is supposed to be.
So I take a moment to explore this empty head of mine. A part of me is very peaceful with this calm mind. Isn't it the very thing that the wisdom traditions promote? "Still your mind !" I've heard it way too many times. Well, now the mind is still and I'm actually finding myself hard pressed to be talkative.
The stillness is a vast ocean. It's deep. There is an incredible amount of space for raw potential. That space is not being utilized at this moment and I have no other choice than to accept that. Often, I can bring myself to be empty enough to find a spark, an idea, something that tickles my fancy. Today, I rest in my peaceful emptiness, knowing that I haven't written up the greatest story, the most inspirational thing or anything that could even come close. Far from it. Today, all I have in this last hour before my deadline is the surrender into the empty mind and my expansion of the calm comfort it brings. There are no "shoulds", there is only that which is and as it is, it is exactly how it is supposed to be.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Moved
Today I was moved to express myself in color. See in the painting what you can recognize and know that it is only a reflection of you :).
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Vibrating in the Frequency of the Earth
I don't know how it is in different areas of the world, but this year, the sun's rays seem to have an intensity that I have not experienced before, even when compared to the tropical areas I visited during my travels 20 or so years ago. The stranger part is, that when I have a good day, where I am in really wonderful vibrations, maintaining my heart energy, I can stay out in the sun for prolonged amounts of time and I don't get burned, nor do I get any symptoms at all. When however, I have been exposed to a lot of fears and lower vibrations and have perhaps taken to lowering my own vibration, I am affected by the sun's rays by sunburn, headaches, dizziness and other symptoms of heat exhaustion and that after only a short while outside.
Interestingly enough, one of my daughters came with crystalline structures intact (a crystal child) and she can play out in the sun without any adverse reactions at all. I understand that it is all speculation on my part, but my observations bring a theory into my awareness. The sun flares and resulting storms are affecting the Earth greatly, they are catalysts for the birthing pangs into the 5th dimension. The sun's radiation is greatly increased as can be observed by the ever rising SPF numbers on the sunscreen's available in the stores. This that has nothing to do with ozone layers in my opinion. It has increased steadily over the past 30+ years (I remember olive oil and sunscreen with SPF 2!) and it keeps rising quicker and quicker. We humans have a few options here, either be burned to a painful red crisp when out in the sun unprotected, slop chemicals onto our skin in ways of sunscreen, don hats and other headgear or simply rise our own frequency to match that of the sun's radiation that is pounding the planet.
In my understanding, rising our frequency means that we become less dense physically. This seems to be difficult to understand, as our bodies are not see-through by any means (yet). In the 5th and 6th dimensions, so I am shown, bodies are still physical, but the DNA structures become more and more crystalline (whatever that means, really). It means that the physical bodies are vibrating at a different sound pitch, perception of that which we experience is greatly altered, expanded actually, and our habits and needs for nourishment changes as well to a lighter diet. One of the most important things is still the intake of clean water. Clean and/or love-infused, and therefore enriched and cleansed water. (See the work of Dr. Masaru Emoto).
All these things are happening to us whether we try really hard or whether we don't even have a thought about it. We are intricately linked to the energies of our biosphere and as Earth increases her vibration, so are we. If we are ahead of the game with this process, we find certain things as exposure to the radiation of the sun easier to bear than if we were behind. However, being ahead of the game is rather painful when dealing with life issues that are still in the lower frequencies.
Quite possibly, staying right dead smack in the exact frequency of where Earth is, may be the easiest way to experience this birthing process into the next dimension. As always, there is no judgment whatsoever when it comes to assessing where anyone stands frequency wise. The diversity of this experience lies in allowing the forerunners, the mid-field as well as the stragglers to just be where they are in full acceptance of the whole picture. After all, it's not a race.
Interestingly enough, one of my daughters came with crystalline structures intact (a crystal child) and she can play out in the sun without any adverse reactions at all. I understand that it is all speculation on my part, but my observations bring a theory into my awareness. The sun flares and resulting storms are affecting the Earth greatly, they are catalysts for the birthing pangs into the 5th dimension. The sun's radiation is greatly increased as can be observed by the ever rising SPF numbers on the sunscreen's available in the stores. This that has nothing to do with ozone layers in my opinion. It has increased steadily over the past 30+ years (I remember olive oil and sunscreen with SPF 2!) and it keeps rising quicker and quicker. We humans have a few options here, either be burned to a painful red crisp when out in the sun unprotected, slop chemicals onto our skin in ways of sunscreen, don hats and other headgear or simply rise our own frequency to match that of the sun's radiation that is pounding the planet.
In my understanding, rising our frequency means that we become less dense physically. This seems to be difficult to understand, as our bodies are not see-through by any means (yet). In the 5th and 6th dimensions, so I am shown, bodies are still physical, but the DNA structures become more and more crystalline (whatever that means, really). It means that the physical bodies are vibrating at a different sound pitch, perception of that which we experience is greatly altered, expanded actually, and our habits and needs for nourishment changes as well to a lighter diet. One of the most important things is still the intake of clean water. Clean and/or love-infused, and therefore enriched and cleansed water. (See the work of Dr. Masaru Emoto).
All these things are happening to us whether we try really hard or whether we don't even have a thought about it. We are intricately linked to the energies of our biosphere and as Earth increases her vibration, so are we. If we are ahead of the game with this process, we find certain things as exposure to the radiation of the sun easier to bear than if we were behind. However, being ahead of the game is rather painful when dealing with life issues that are still in the lower frequencies.
Quite possibly, staying right dead smack in the exact frequency of where Earth is, may be the easiest way to experience this birthing process into the next dimension. As always, there is no judgment whatsoever when it comes to assessing where anyone stands frequency wise. The diversity of this experience lies in allowing the forerunners, the mid-field as well as the stragglers to just be where they are in full acceptance of the whole picture. After all, it's not a race.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Yin and Yang
When we see the dot of yin in our yang and the dot of yang in our yin, we can begin to see that very same in others. When we do see that in others, judgment becomes so very difficult to continue. We then ideally cease that old sport of judging and find an outlet in exquisite humor when we catch the yin of the other in our yang, or the yang of the other in our yin. I predict a whole lot of giggling.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Self-Love
Love is the one thing that seems to be missing in many people’s lives. That is but the manifested reflection of the lack of self-love that a person expresses or feels.
Love is the most abundant energy in the Universe, to experience the lack of love is a really amazing feat of looking away from the Source. That is allowed. When you’re done experiencing it, when you’re truly ready to embark on the journey home, all it takes is a conscious step into self-love so that the reflection changes from no or only a little love to lots of love. I love you all. (The Elohim)
Sunday, July 24, 2011
A Beautiful World
For many thousands of years, the wisdom traditions teach that in order to reach higher levels of consciousness one needs to still the mind. It is still so, that this avenue of stilling the mind (calming the many thoughts in your head to silence) is a very effective tool.
Earth is a very loud place. Have you ever paused to listen actively to the buzz that is going on around us perpetually? I have. Even if the physical ears claim to not hear, the inner ears and my energies most certainly feel bombarded continually. This bombardment makes it very difficult to achieve that inner silence, that state of a stilled mind. It is still possible. Another way would be to focus solely on that which is conducive for peaceful living.
I maintain that whatever our minds focus on and therefore give energy to, is the very thing we create. If one takes this premise and applies it quite strictly to controlling the direction of one's thoughts, distinct changes in realities and experiences can be achieved. At times, I find it necessary to go into a state of seclusion, where I do not expose myself to any bad news. NONE at all.... For the active creation of a better world, it is important for me to give my energy to nature, to beauty, to enjoyment of the incredible diversity of life here on Earth. I don't abolish all negative things, I just take a break from being exposed to them around the clock. By taking that break, I focus my energy on things that are soothing to my soul and create a sense of well-being inside my heart. In this focus, I include things like unity, love, peace and harmony. I make it a point to actively seek and view these things in my surroundings, in my life experience, past and present. I make it also a point to actively shift my focus away from the things that give my senses a jolt. I turn off TV, news, I stop visiting social media where folks try to tell me how bad this world is. It is NOT a bad world, really it isn't. It's a world that is currently (still) on a downward spiral with all these creators on it emphasizing on the negative, even if their intention is one of warning or informing, of not being asleep. By consciously choosing not to give energy to the negative, I am not entering a state of being asleep. I don't deny its existence within the experience of duality. I just decide not to feed it.
Just imagine how beautiful this world can become if more and more people focus on the positive and with that consciously create something other than the perpetual "bad news" that is polluting this planet? I am a confessed dreamer, true, but I think this goes beyond dreaming alone, for if you look around you, the beauty is staring at you wherever you look, you just got to make yourself get into a state in which you are open to see it.
Earth is a very loud place. Have you ever paused to listen actively to the buzz that is going on around us perpetually? I have. Even if the physical ears claim to not hear, the inner ears and my energies most certainly feel bombarded continually. This bombardment makes it very difficult to achieve that inner silence, that state of a stilled mind. It is still possible. Another way would be to focus solely on that which is conducive for peaceful living.
I maintain that whatever our minds focus on and therefore give energy to, is the very thing we create. If one takes this premise and applies it quite strictly to controlling the direction of one's thoughts, distinct changes in realities and experiences can be achieved. At times, I find it necessary to go into a state of seclusion, where I do not expose myself to any bad news. NONE at all.... For the active creation of a better world, it is important for me to give my energy to nature, to beauty, to enjoyment of the incredible diversity of life here on Earth. I don't abolish all negative things, I just take a break from being exposed to them around the clock. By taking that break, I focus my energy on things that are soothing to my soul and create a sense of well-being inside my heart. In this focus, I include things like unity, love, peace and harmony. I make it a point to actively seek and view these things in my surroundings, in my life experience, past and present. I make it also a point to actively shift my focus away from the things that give my senses a jolt. I turn off TV, news, I stop visiting social media where folks try to tell me how bad this world is. It is NOT a bad world, really it isn't. It's a world that is currently (still) on a downward spiral with all these creators on it emphasizing on the negative, even if their intention is one of warning or informing, of not being asleep. By consciously choosing not to give energy to the negative, I am not entering a state of being asleep. I don't deny its existence within the experience of duality. I just decide not to feed it.
Just imagine how beautiful this world can become if more and more people focus on the positive and with that consciously create something other than the perpetual "bad news" that is polluting this planet? I am a confessed dreamer, true, but I think this goes beyond dreaming alone, for if you look around you, the beauty is staring at you wherever you look, you just got to make yourself get into a state in which you are open to see it.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Reports of Atrocities, Doom and Gloom
The state of this world seems to be a mess. A pretty brutal mess actually. Many folks see it as their mission to inform on a daily basis of the atrocities that are happening around the world. The internet is a wonderful tool for spreading this information. However, not only the information, the facts get spread, the energy inherent in the atrocities get spread around the globe as well. I'm a bit in conflict over that and have in the past resolved to accepting that there are people who feel drawn to be these kinds of messengers. I'm in conflict, because on one hand, it is very important in my opinion to keep the eyes and ears open and not to deny that which is going on. On the other hand, I find that the energy smeared thus everywhere is painful to endure. I know full well, that by spreading this information and by sharing it makes it spread like wild fires through the social networks. Through that, the events of the atrocities are gaining in energetic might. No matter, whether we applaud something or find it worthy of our judgment that it is so totally "wrong", we inadvertently give our energies to the actual atrocities and pump them up.
The only neutralizing force that I can think of would be unconditional love. I have since taken to meet these reports of doom and gloom, these articles of bringing to light and awareness of the vilest things a human being could conceive of, with waves of unconditional love. I make a choice to step away from deciding whether the harbinger of these news reports are doing the right thing or not. I fold, I am not the judge of their actions. I can only know how I react and will continue to react to the pollution that is brought to the virtual doorstep of my computer. I could stick my head in the sand like an ostrich and stop acknowledging the presence of these news reports, or I could heal these situations with wave upon wave of unconditional love in full acceptance of both sides, the perpetrators of the crimes against humanity and Earth and the victims alike and wholly without judgment. Everyone is part of me and I am part of everyone. Love is the only energy that I have to make a difference. For me, the difference is not made by spreading and forwarding these reports, it is made by how I react to all involved, those who do the deed, those who unveil the secrets and write about it and finally those who find it so necessary to inform the world. They all have their place. I see mine still as a lightworker and there is no greater light than that of unconditional love. Hence that is the energy I spread onto the actual event, to both perpetrator and victim, to the originator of the news report, to all the souls spreading the news and I follow the energy signature around the globe engulfing every little bit that is touched by this energetic pollution with unconditional love. I do this without expectation of any outcome, for that would mean my love is conditional...
The only neutralizing force that I can think of would be unconditional love. I have since taken to meet these reports of doom and gloom, these articles of bringing to light and awareness of the vilest things a human being could conceive of, with waves of unconditional love. I make a choice to step away from deciding whether the harbinger of these news reports are doing the right thing or not. I fold, I am not the judge of their actions. I can only know how I react and will continue to react to the pollution that is brought to the virtual doorstep of my computer. I could stick my head in the sand like an ostrich and stop acknowledging the presence of these news reports, or I could heal these situations with wave upon wave of unconditional love in full acceptance of both sides, the perpetrators of the crimes against humanity and Earth and the victims alike and wholly without judgment. Everyone is part of me and I am part of everyone. Love is the only energy that I have to make a difference. For me, the difference is not made by spreading and forwarding these reports, it is made by how I react to all involved, those who do the deed, those who unveil the secrets and write about it and finally those who find it so necessary to inform the world. They all have their place. I see mine still as a lightworker and there is no greater light than that of unconditional love. Hence that is the energy I spread onto the actual event, to both perpetrator and victim, to the originator of the news report, to all the souls spreading the news and I follow the energy signature around the globe engulfing every little bit that is touched by this energetic pollution with unconditional love. I do this without expectation of any outcome, for that would mean my love is conditional...
Friday, July 22, 2011
It's All Good
The arrogance I am accused of occasionally (it has gotten better) is showing up again on my radar. The accusers are busy from their point of perspective to judge and see me as if I came from their point of perspective. In order to be who I am at my core, however, I feel the urge to hold my point of perspective, for it is not easy to let go of it and not be engulfed by the old way of thinking, which is still very much alive in the mental energy pathways. I cannot undo that I have lived the majority of my life thinking in 3D ways and living according to the rules of duality. To step outside of duality while the world is still heavily engaged in experiencing the world from the polarity point of view, is a feat that I feel very cozy with. I'm happy to have made my step into the 5th dimension and have anchored my energy into the High Heart Chakra. There is no going back fully, but fluctuations actually happen still. Sometimes, I engage in discussions just because it is preferable to me to be talking, as opposed to go silent. I am mercurial in nature and communication is a joy.
Well, it's joyous mostly when the points of perspective are at least in the same dimension. It gets incredibly frustrating when the communicators are bringing their intelligence from different dimensions. The main accusation of "you're so arrogant, who do you think you are - God?" keeps popping up from different people and I think the time has come to address this issue. First of all, I would like to publicly state that I do NOT think that I am God. I've however always believed that a spark of God resides in each and every heart, also mine. Fact is, I know who I am and I understand the implications of that at least to some extent. I know without a doubt that I am far greater than my body - AND - I know that everyone else is also far greater than their body. I know that in the 5th dimension, things that in the 3rd dimension have been attributed to God alone, are understandable by the mortal mind. I know that all it takes is to shift the point of perspective and I know that each and every human being is potentially capable to do this shift, if they want to. It isn't something exclusive to me nor anyone else. It isn't something that you have to pay money for to achieve either. It's most definitely just one simple step, one simple point of heart felt intention to initiate the transition into the 5th dimension, a process which has been entitled "Ascension".
Newsflash for those readers who are not informed yet, the Earth is moving into the 5th dimension as we speak and just the intent to move along with our biosphere's progress would suffice to make it to the higher frequency without as much as a second thought. It is not required that you pretzel yourselves up and meditate for hours on end, singing OM (although it is beneficial to try that approach at least once in a life time). It is not required that you know the details of the journey that increases the vibratory frequency of your body so that you will find yourselves in the heart and experience a consciousness that you've never known before. All that is required is a heart felt intent to be part of the Earth's ascension. The rest is automatic.
It is just those of us who came to facilitate this journey for others who have struggled through energetic density that was painful. It is just some of us who decided to go there ahead of time to be midwives along the way, when the many questions begin to pop up and the fears need to be alleviated. It is just some of us who have anchored into 5D already to hold a job at the check-point guiding the way for those who wish to be guided.
The ascension process for the masses is automatic. It is linked directly with the energetic frequency increase that is happening to Mother Earth and again, just the love for Mother Earth alone will suffice to see you well under way with that process.
Most of all, it is my urge to emphasize on this: Nobody who has already increased their own personal energetic frequency and anchored into the 5th dimension thinks they are better than the rest. I can vouch for this, for the point of perspective from the 5th dimension is free of duality, hence at that point there is NO concept of better or worse any longer. Therefore, a person who smiles at you at that accusation, who still loves you with all their heart, will have most likely ascended and locked into the 5th dimension. Discussions between the viewpoints of 3D and 5D are essentially moot points and it is the sole responsibility of those in the 5th dimension to smile and love despite whatever the locked in perception from the 3rd dimension is trying to project onto us. It's all good anyways :)
Well, it's joyous mostly when the points of perspective are at least in the same dimension. It gets incredibly frustrating when the communicators are bringing their intelligence from different dimensions. The main accusation of "you're so arrogant, who do you think you are - God?" keeps popping up from different people and I think the time has come to address this issue. First of all, I would like to publicly state that I do NOT think that I am God. I've however always believed that a spark of God resides in each and every heart, also mine. Fact is, I know who I am and I understand the implications of that at least to some extent. I know without a doubt that I am far greater than my body - AND - I know that everyone else is also far greater than their body. I know that in the 5th dimension, things that in the 3rd dimension have been attributed to God alone, are understandable by the mortal mind. I know that all it takes is to shift the point of perspective and I know that each and every human being is potentially capable to do this shift, if they want to. It isn't something exclusive to me nor anyone else. It isn't something that you have to pay money for to achieve either. It's most definitely just one simple step, one simple point of heart felt intention to initiate the transition into the 5th dimension, a process which has been entitled "Ascension".
Newsflash for those readers who are not informed yet, the Earth is moving into the 5th dimension as we speak and just the intent to move along with our biosphere's progress would suffice to make it to the higher frequency without as much as a second thought. It is not required that you pretzel yourselves up and meditate for hours on end, singing OM (although it is beneficial to try that approach at least once in a life time). It is not required that you know the details of the journey that increases the vibratory frequency of your body so that you will find yourselves in the heart and experience a consciousness that you've never known before. All that is required is a heart felt intent to be part of the Earth's ascension. The rest is automatic.
It is just those of us who came to facilitate this journey for others who have struggled through energetic density that was painful. It is just some of us who decided to go there ahead of time to be midwives along the way, when the many questions begin to pop up and the fears need to be alleviated. It is just some of us who have anchored into 5D already to hold a job at the check-point guiding the way for those who wish to be guided.
The ascension process for the masses is automatic. It is linked directly with the energetic frequency increase that is happening to Mother Earth and again, just the love for Mother Earth alone will suffice to see you well under way with that process.
Most of all, it is my urge to emphasize on this: Nobody who has already increased their own personal energetic frequency and anchored into the 5th dimension thinks they are better than the rest. I can vouch for this, for the point of perspective from the 5th dimension is free of duality, hence at that point there is NO concept of better or worse any longer. Therefore, a person who smiles at you at that accusation, who still loves you with all their heart, will have most likely ascended and locked into the 5th dimension. Discussions between the viewpoints of 3D and 5D are essentially moot points and it is the sole responsibility of those in the 5th dimension to smile and love despite whatever the locked in perception from the 3rd dimension is trying to project onto us. It's all good anyways :)
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Uncharted Territory
After the intensity of having a distinct urge to complete certain missions, to fulfill contracts that were committed to before entering this incarnation, I find myself a bit in a state of void now that nothing particular seems to be on my plate. In this state of void, I have the definite sensation of unrest. There is not that wonderful satisfaction that "following one's path" brings. There is no comfort in the knowledge that everything is being done and laid out by the helpers beyond the veil to facilitate the learning process. Instead, everything goes. I can choose. The experience of absolute free will choice, without having to follow a pre-set lesson plan is one that nearly robs me of peace - not quite though.
I see a number of issues that are most likely linked to being in a human body. Ego most definitely has a bit of a hard time dealing with that much freedom. It likes structure. One should think that freedom is something to strive for, but ultimately, absolute freedom carries a consequence. This is the equal amount of responsibility that I take on for the amount of freedom I have. It is quite a human reaction to be a bit shell shocked at first and paralyzed in my ability to act in the physical world. I turned into a bit of a sloth and for a while have enjoyed that state quite a bit. However, being inactive also carries a responsibility (what if I could actually do something ...), it isn't the "way out".
Freedom requires a bit of getting used to. It's a big hat to wear, really, it's possibly one of the more misunderstood notions out there. True freedom is also freedom from automatic assistance. Freedom means that whatever I do, think, don't do or even don't think is part of my personal creation. It is that for anyone, but in the state of true freedom, this creation is what it is. There are no excuses of "she has to learn this first". There is no leeway anymore. There are no helpers that jump in and save the day as they have in the past, for it is considered an insult to step in when a soul is perfectly able to do it herself. (whatever it is). There are no paths that have been mapped out, there are no contracts to fulfill any longer, there are no specific people to meet for learning experiences. Yet, instead of lying on the beach, sipping my drink with the little umbrella and the slice of pineapple, I feel a bit disgruntled and lack the ability to fully rejoice in that freedom.
There is nothing to do, nothing is sanctioned or forbidden, everything is possible, yet there is no "draw" where to head next. The contrast lies in remembering the first part of my life being full of missions and contracts, one after the other, I did not rest until it was all done. Well, it's done now and I've run out of things that I have to do. I know I will eventually create my own paths on my own (empty?) life map. I will even begin to enjoy myself doing that. It's a new land, a new experience altogether, and I chuckle because I realize I've tried to go about it with the tools that worked earlier. I begin to grin really wide, as I start to see that to travel on uncharted territory, I need to trust myself above all and stop trying to live as if the map had already defined roads on it that I am to follow. The map will draw itself according to how I decide to experience my life.
I see a number of issues that are most likely linked to being in a human body. Ego most definitely has a bit of a hard time dealing with that much freedom. It likes structure. One should think that freedom is something to strive for, but ultimately, absolute freedom carries a consequence. This is the equal amount of responsibility that I take on for the amount of freedom I have. It is quite a human reaction to be a bit shell shocked at first and paralyzed in my ability to act in the physical world. I turned into a bit of a sloth and for a while have enjoyed that state quite a bit. However, being inactive also carries a responsibility (what if I could actually do something ...), it isn't the "way out".
Freedom requires a bit of getting used to. It's a big hat to wear, really, it's possibly one of the more misunderstood notions out there. True freedom is also freedom from automatic assistance. Freedom means that whatever I do, think, don't do or even don't think is part of my personal creation. It is that for anyone, but in the state of true freedom, this creation is what it is. There are no excuses of "she has to learn this first". There is no leeway anymore. There are no helpers that jump in and save the day as they have in the past, for it is considered an insult to step in when a soul is perfectly able to do it herself. (whatever it is). There are no paths that have been mapped out, there are no contracts to fulfill any longer, there are no specific people to meet for learning experiences. Yet, instead of lying on the beach, sipping my drink with the little umbrella and the slice of pineapple, I feel a bit disgruntled and lack the ability to fully rejoice in that freedom.
There is nothing to do, nothing is sanctioned or forbidden, everything is possible, yet there is no "draw" where to head next. The contrast lies in remembering the first part of my life being full of missions and contracts, one after the other, I did not rest until it was all done. Well, it's done now and I've run out of things that I have to do. I know I will eventually create my own paths on my own (empty?) life map. I will even begin to enjoy myself doing that. It's a new land, a new experience altogether, and I chuckle because I realize I've tried to go about it with the tools that worked earlier. I begin to grin really wide, as I start to see that to travel on uncharted territory, I need to trust myself above all and stop trying to live as if the map had already defined roads on it that I am to follow. The map will draw itself according to how I decide to experience my life.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
A Leap of Faith
It takes a leap of faith to trust that the moment will expand to fit the time needs exactly to fulfill that which you are about to do or experience. It is one of the leaps that are highly recommended. (The Elohim)
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Surrender
When eternal truth rings through the words given in honesty and kindness, in answer to having gone within in contemplation and prayer, it is time to strip the self of all pretense and embrace the level of responsibility one's actual soul age and origin carries. All it takes is a small impulse, the agreement to the simple act of surrender to the One Source of all that is. As a gift from the Eternal One comes a reconnection to the core of one's true purpose and the full protection and guidance of the Creator.
Monday, July 18, 2011
About Value and Worthiness
"On this planet, getting things done has been confused with worthiness."
I think this statement is very true. There is a whole lot of value and status given to those who accomplish a lot. Although I would not wish to come across as if I don't value another's achievements, I do believe that value needs to be spread out differently. In fact, I think value is something that a society should not be able to decide for the individual. Value and worthiness are very personal attributes. To me they are a feeling.
I understand that my contributions to society are mainly invisible. Or the visible ones are so "out there" that mainstream oriented folks cannot see any value in what I have to offer. In fact, my life choices and subsequently my life style are so unorthodox that I do stick out like a colored cow. I have created this all by myself. I've not taken many role models into account, but followed my own drum. By doing that I have disengaged from the comfort of having society or the masses dictate and grant me my values and give me my sense of worthiness. As a result of this, I had to reach the rock bottom of feeling unworthy. I did and began to build up my own sense of worthiness, based on my inner values. These are not values that are meant for the rest of the world. These are my own individual values and they alone dictate my very personal sense of worthiness. The empowering thing of going through such a metamorphosis is that nobody can take my self-worth away but me. I have disengaged from giving this sort of power to the society at large and truly nobody can thus judge me effectively and with that judgment dictate my sense of worthiness.
Along with this transformation came a gift. Not only am I free of societal dictatorship when it comes to my own values, but I also understood where along the line I had given up my ability to self-evaluate. It was in fact very early on. Probably as early as Kindergarten. Public school has done the rest and has created the matrix within which I could reach that place of rock bottom. It is this observation that leads me to hope that there will be a change in the school systems soon, to foster individualized schooling that focuses on bringing about creativity and focus on the actual talents of the kids who are humanity's future. Through the talks of Sir Ken Robinson I found on www.TED.com, I feel that with proper changes in the school system, the shift from giving society the power to judge one's worthiness to taking the responsibility onto oneself to bring about true self-worth will be one of the results.
In one of his talks, he quotes this poem:
He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven
by William Butler Yeats
Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
I would like to add that as individuals we can already do at least as much as to tread very softly on the dreams of anyone around us. In that consciousness alone lies a pearl of wisdom that not only allows for the individual's true creative nature to come forth, but also for their sense of worthiness to develop unhampered by continuous judgments or conventions put upon an individual by society at large.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
The First Nature of the Ascended Human Being
What are the implications of growing up into the process of ascension? There are but a few. First of all, it is imperative to step into the heart center. Without that, the next dimension is simply not perceived as existent. It is of course still a matter of free will choice whether or not any one person wishes to go along with the process that is in full swing, namely, the planet Earth's own increase in frequency.
Truly, judgment is not a thing that will prevail in the new energies. I am glad for that, as I am learning to understand the difference between judgment and discernment even more detailed as I have before. Discernment is still very much needed to navigate through this life. Discernment will help us make decisions, evaluate the choices we have before us. The best focus to have is the one of an open, loving heart.
Discernment to me does not hold judgment, it does however hold an intelligent and informed decision for one thing or another. It allows the thing that has not been chosen to be as it is, for whomever wants to chose that particular thing. It does not attribute value to either or the other option. It only helps us in deciding what we want to experience and for me it is a very important feature to take on responsibility and live our lives as sovereign souls with a very high level of integrity. It is integrity towards our own missions, our soul's contracts and plans that were contrived with the higher intelligence and understanding from the soul's point of view from beyond the veil. To live thus, means to live with a very high degree of consciousness.
As I feel the energies around me, there is one thing that is popping up over and over again. It is that first step towards ascension and life in the higher frequencies. It is that urge to spread the news that finding one's heart is so very important for this process. The heart's love is the foundation of it. If you find yourself in a heart space, but falter, find yourself in fear again, do not hesitate to recognize that fact and intend to find your heart space again and again.
Currently, so it appears, the energies on the planet are facilitating this process of practicing to stay in the love. It is as if mankind has this window of opportunity to do this, NOW... It takes but a few moments of awareness, a formulated and possibly voiced intent of stepping out of the point of fear, into the point of love. If you cannot recognize the moment you falter and slip out of that space, you can make it an hourly exercise to step into the heart. Until it becomes second nature. No, until it becomes first nature, for the ascended human being's FIRST nature is the full acceptance, integration and uninterrupted expression of unconditional love.
Truly, judgment is not a thing that will prevail in the new energies. I am glad for that, as I am learning to understand the difference between judgment and discernment even more detailed as I have before. Discernment is still very much needed to navigate through this life. Discernment will help us make decisions, evaluate the choices we have before us. The best focus to have is the one of an open, loving heart.
Discernment to me does not hold judgment, it does however hold an intelligent and informed decision for one thing or another. It allows the thing that has not been chosen to be as it is, for whomever wants to chose that particular thing. It does not attribute value to either or the other option. It only helps us in deciding what we want to experience and for me it is a very important feature to take on responsibility and live our lives as sovereign souls with a very high level of integrity. It is integrity towards our own missions, our soul's contracts and plans that were contrived with the higher intelligence and understanding from the soul's point of view from beyond the veil. To live thus, means to live with a very high degree of consciousness.
As I feel the energies around me, there is one thing that is popping up over and over again. It is that first step towards ascension and life in the higher frequencies. It is that urge to spread the news that finding one's heart is so very important for this process. The heart's love is the foundation of it. If you find yourself in a heart space, but falter, find yourself in fear again, do not hesitate to recognize that fact and intend to find your heart space again and again.
Currently, so it appears, the energies on the planet are facilitating this process of practicing to stay in the love. It is as if mankind has this window of opportunity to do this, NOW... It takes but a few moments of awareness, a formulated and possibly voiced intent of stepping out of the point of fear, into the point of love. If you cannot recognize the moment you falter and slip out of that space, you can make it an hourly exercise to step into the heart. Until it becomes second nature. No, until it becomes first nature, for the ascended human being's FIRST nature is the full acceptance, integration and uninterrupted expression of unconditional love.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Out There
When I totally lose myself into the bliss of my essence, I experience unity. I experience that essence for what it is, namely unconditional love. Some call that the connection with one's "God-Self". The pull of the 3-dimensional experience is exerted naturally, by means of actually inhabiting a physical body. When the essence consciousness is re-connecting with the physical form, the experience outside of 3D is seemingly lost. In fact, the focal point has shifted and that is really all that has changed.
It is in a human's nature to have linear thinking and try to "get back" to the point of bliss, unity, ecstasy, because it just felt so right. Indeed, these experiences are closer to who we truly are than what we experience in the density of the 3rd dimension. However, in my opinion, they are not something we have to try to get back to. To believe that would be 3-dimensional thinking and alas, the fear based response of having seemingly traveled very far "out there" and then having been pulled back into this physical experience. It is fear based, for the yearning of wanting to get back there, carries the fear of not being there, or the fear of never being able to return there.
The moment a thought process can be determined thus to be fear based, we know with certainty that it has to do with the 3rd dimension, the experience is one of "this OR that", of polar opposites. By seeking one's heart center, we can navigate into the experience of "this AND that", where the point of perception becomes one that embraces both polar opposite points simultaneously. This seems perhaps to be rather difficult, but in fact it is very easy to accomplish. All it takes is a shift in focus. Like a photographer with a zoom lens on his camera, we can shift our focus from close up to wide angle.
With the new focal point we can determine that we have never really left the place of bliss, home, the place where our essence dwells naturally. That place (which in fact isn't even really a place) will never be gone. It is always available, it is ever present. It can be reached at a moment's notice. It is easiest to maintain a simultaneous consciousness in that state of our essence alongside the consciousness of inhabiting a body here on Earth. Any kind of idea that this is a struggle or that it has to be hard to get there is but our own game we play (we are allowed to play it). Why should it be hard to be that which we already are? It is not. Believe it to be easy and it will be.
It is in a human's nature to have linear thinking and try to "get back" to the point of bliss, unity, ecstasy, because it just felt so right. Indeed, these experiences are closer to who we truly are than what we experience in the density of the 3rd dimension. However, in my opinion, they are not something we have to try to get back to. To believe that would be 3-dimensional thinking and alas, the fear based response of having seemingly traveled very far "out there" and then having been pulled back into this physical experience. It is fear based, for the yearning of wanting to get back there, carries the fear of not being there, or the fear of never being able to return there.
The moment a thought process can be determined thus to be fear based, we know with certainty that it has to do with the 3rd dimension, the experience is one of "this OR that", of polar opposites. By seeking one's heart center, we can navigate into the experience of "this AND that", where the point of perception becomes one that embraces both polar opposite points simultaneously. This seems perhaps to be rather difficult, but in fact it is very easy to accomplish. All it takes is a shift in focus. Like a photographer with a zoom lens on his camera, we can shift our focus from close up to wide angle.
With the new focal point we can determine that we have never really left the place of bliss, home, the place where our essence dwells naturally. That place (which in fact isn't even really a place) will never be gone. It is always available, it is ever present. It can be reached at a moment's notice. It is easiest to maintain a simultaneous consciousness in that state of our essence alongside the consciousness of inhabiting a body here on Earth. Any kind of idea that this is a struggle or that it has to be hard to get there is but our own game we play (we are allowed to play it). Why should it be hard to be that which we already are? It is not. Believe it to be easy and it will be.
Friday, July 15, 2011
A Question to Ask
Through making the experience over and over again that people judge, cannot accept or downright refuse that certain experiences are real, I wish to bring the attention to a different way of looking at these different realities.
To me, the very last reality that can be experienced, as strange as it may be, is part of the whole tapestry of life in general and has it's place. We cannot hope to "do away" with any of these threads and patterns that are so beautifully and intrinsically a part of the whole weave.
In that sense, I ask: "Would the red pattern in the weave of a carpet argue with the blue swirls or the green triangles over which one is real ?"
The answer to this question is written clearly and irrevocably in every heart.
To me, the very last reality that can be experienced, as strange as it may be, is part of the whole tapestry of life in general and has it's place. We cannot hope to "do away" with any of these threads and patterns that are so beautifully and intrinsically a part of the whole weave.
In that sense, I ask: "Would the red pattern in the weave of a carpet argue with the blue swirls or the green triangles over which one is real ?"
The answer to this question is written clearly and irrevocably in every heart.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
The Crystal Grid
There is quite a bit written about the Crystal Grid - At first, the magnetic grid around the planet was being mentioned, that was back in the early 90s I believe. The magnetic grid has to do with the planetary alignment in space and in relation to the other planets. It is vital for the planet and each planet has a magnetic grid. Overlaying this magnetic grid is something that is entitled crystal grid. It's crystal in frequency, i.e. the grid has the properties of quartz crystal in the sense that it is highly conductive and one of the features is that it amplifies energetic impulses.
If one tunes into the crystal grid, an increase in consciousness can be gained, for the amplifying qualities will make it so that the consciousness that tunes in gets amplified. Simple really.
The crystal grid has been knitted and implemented overlaying the magnetic grid and it corresponds to and works with the global consciousness that exists on Earth at present time. It's implementation in the current form has been achieved in the year 2002 and ever since, the grid has been working on increasing mass consciousness in line and speed with the planetary increase in vibratory frequency, which is also called "ascension".
The crystal grid is available for anyone who has enough consciousness to tune into its matrix. If you encounter a website that asks for money so that you may connect, know that it is bogus. There cannot be any trade flourishing with the energies of the crystal grid. I am sorry to say, but any person who pays to access it has been fooled and that's their free will choice.
Access to the grid is easy. One has to have a heart based consciousness and the simple desire to connect directly with the crystal grid. Visualization helps, but actual connection will happen if the frequency of your consciousness is love based. Emotions such as greed, fear, hate etc will lower your frequency to a point where the access to the grid is not possible, simply because it fades out of existence in the lower frequency planes of reality.
If you attempt to lovingly connect with the crystal grid, you will be rewarded with a flush of energy and an increase in consciousness is the result of that connection, for as I said above, the grid will amplify that which it receives and send it back to you. So if you're feeling that you are anchored in your heart most days, you'll have a blast connecting to the grid. Such a connection has an energizing effect, can produce spontaneous healing of old wounds and issues on all levels (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual) and expand one's mind effortlessly. Astral travel happens quite frequently when meditating with the grid. If you feel you just cannot connect with the grid, then know that you may not be fully based in the heart chakra, may not fully be able to open yourself up to love just yet and I recommend you begin with some heart chakra cleansing work first, to create an always open, free flowing love energy to emanate and permeate your being and those around you.
Again, I would like to impart two very important things. The grid exists, but is ready to be experienced only in the higher frequencies. The grid is freely accessible to anyone who resides in the heart/love energy. The grid does not judge anyone, it's simply a matter of perception and inherent frequency.
If one tunes into the crystal grid, an increase in consciousness can be gained, for the amplifying qualities will make it so that the consciousness that tunes in gets amplified. Simple really.
The crystal grid has been knitted and implemented overlaying the magnetic grid and it corresponds to and works with the global consciousness that exists on Earth at present time. It's implementation in the current form has been achieved in the year 2002 and ever since, the grid has been working on increasing mass consciousness in line and speed with the planetary increase in vibratory frequency, which is also called "ascension".
The crystal grid is available for anyone who has enough consciousness to tune into its matrix. If you encounter a website that asks for money so that you may connect, know that it is bogus. There cannot be any trade flourishing with the energies of the crystal grid. I am sorry to say, but any person who pays to access it has been fooled and that's their free will choice.
Access to the grid is easy. One has to have a heart based consciousness and the simple desire to connect directly with the crystal grid. Visualization helps, but actual connection will happen if the frequency of your consciousness is love based. Emotions such as greed, fear, hate etc will lower your frequency to a point where the access to the grid is not possible, simply because it fades out of existence in the lower frequency planes of reality.
If you attempt to lovingly connect with the crystal grid, you will be rewarded with a flush of energy and an increase in consciousness is the result of that connection, for as I said above, the grid will amplify that which it receives and send it back to you. So if you're feeling that you are anchored in your heart most days, you'll have a blast connecting to the grid. Such a connection has an energizing effect, can produce spontaneous healing of old wounds and issues on all levels (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual) and expand one's mind effortlessly. Astral travel happens quite frequently when meditating with the grid. If you feel you just cannot connect with the grid, then know that you may not be fully based in the heart chakra, may not fully be able to open yourself up to love just yet and I recommend you begin with some heart chakra cleansing work first, to create an always open, free flowing love energy to emanate and permeate your being and those around you.
Again, I would like to impart two very important things. The grid exists, but is ready to be experienced only in the higher frequencies. The grid is freely accessible to anyone who resides in the heart/love energy. The grid does not judge anyone, it's simply a matter of perception and inherent frequency.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Dreaming of Something Smooth
It has been a while since I've wondered about my reality. Today, I'm wondering again quite heavily. It seems that it is still not what the mainstream reality tells me it should be. Heck, it's not even congruent with the shared reality many so called Lightworkers have. I notice again and again that some are really bent on putting a futuristic emphasis on disaster, survival modes and ET invasion. In my reality, there just isn't any of that dramatic stuff. Is it that I'm too boring and can't create such upheaval or is it simply that my visioning powers surpass that of others? I don't really know and don't think it matters that much, but at the rate this is going, there are going to be quite a few realities that are going to play out. I do hope there are a few more folks, other than myself who care to see Mother Earth ascend nicely, smoothly and settle into the heart based vibration without too much ado.
Could it not be that instead of having to fear the breakdown of every infrastructure and the chaos that would result from such a scenario, we're going to experience more and more heart based folks, little communities popping up, people helping each other out, money not being the sole or main motivating force, but love ?
Could it not be, that instead of fighting against the "evils of the 3rd dimension" like money, greed, corporate power etc, we find heart based hubs (local communities) simply ignoring but accepting these "evils" as an expression of a denser frequency, lovingly, peacefully focusing on their group, networking with other groups and bringing about the meaning of true creativity and passion?
Could it not be, that instead of the big scale revolution with fire, destruction, deaths and sorrow, we will experience peace, collaboration, unity and tolerance as well as joy in diversity?
I could enlarge this list, but I think you get the drift here. Is my reality, my vision of the transition into 5D so surreal? Can we just be stubborn enough to think and intend our way into a peaceful society without first having to demolish what had sort of worked in the lower density? I would certainly hope so, as I apply my own stubborn nature and insist in my own mind, that I will experience none of the apocalyptic destruction, but see survival based in the hearts and innate goodwill of mankind, in which I still believe.
Call me a fool, call me a dreamer, but isn't it worth dreaming up something smooth and fuzzy, rather than something warlike and devastating? I believe that it is.
Could it not be that instead of having to fear the breakdown of every infrastructure and the chaos that would result from such a scenario, we're going to experience more and more heart based folks, little communities popping up, people helping each other out, money not being the sole or main motivating force, but love ?
Could it not be, that instead of fighting against the "evils of the 3rd dimension" like money, greed, corporate power etc, we find heart based hubs (local communities) simply ignoring but accepting these "evils" as an expression of a denser frequency, lovingly, peacefully focusing on their group, networking with other groups and bringing about the meaning of true creativity and passion?
Could it not be, that instead of the big scale revolution with fire, destruction, deaths and sorrow, we will experience peace, collaboration, unity and tolerance as well as joy in diversity?
I could enlarge this list, but I think you get the drift here. Is my reality, my vision of the transition into 5D so surreal? Can we just be stubborn enough to think and intend our way into a peaceful society without first having to demolish what had sort of worked in the lower density? I would certainly hope so, as I apply my own stubborn nature and insist in my own mind, that I will experience none of the apocalyptic destruction, but see survival based in the hearts and innate goodwill of mankind, in which I still believe.
Call me a fool, call me a dreamer, but isn't it worth dreaming up something smooth and fuzzy, rather than something warlike and devastating? I believe that it is.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Amazing
The need for recognition to be unique, wonderful, exciting, special and amazing will begin to dissipate at the same rate and intensity as you start to embrace and fully accept yourself to be unique, wonderful, exciting, special and amazing.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Attitude
I've heard somewhere that true creation is born out of silence. It's quite silent in my mind. There has to be something brewing? no?... I'm really joking, but often times a joke isn't all that far removed from the truth.
One thing is certain, I have no clue where this silence is leading me.
These states of silence in my mind are actually quite relaxing, but also rather unnerving, since I have literally no clue, not the faintest idea where this silence will lead. Perhaps, oh my, it won't lead anywhere. There is that human quality that always is trying to go somewhere. It's perhaps even time to just stay put, be here in this moment, experience the quality of silence and sense of uncertainty. To me it has that same feeling like staring at an empty canvas, when I'm readying myself to paint.
It is actually this moment, just before the burst of inspiration is invited into the field of perception. With the inspiration comes often times (perhaps always?) a creation of sorts. It may be really small, something rather personal, or something bigger, something of beauty or something that is totally meaningless for anyone other than myself. I don't know what it's going to be, but I do know that I am centered and honoring this place of silence. With this attitude, I feel I'm setting the stage, getting ready for "whatever" inside myself.
It is important to realize, so I believe, that attitude is in fact the tool to shape any experience. The attitude will dictate the lens through which I will experience the next "thing". I am in total control over my own attitude and if I experience that I am not, I have to remember that, in fact, I am. I am able to change my attitude towards anything at any given time. I'm not only able to use this tool, but if I am a self-loving co-creating human being, then it is my responsibility to put this tool to adequate use, be flexible with it and shape my reality with conscious purpose.
One thing is certain, I have no clue where this silence is leading me.
These states of silence in my mind are actually quite relaxing, but also rather unnerving, since I have literally no clue, not the faintest idea where this silence will lead. Perhaps, oh my, it won't lead anywhere. There is that human quality that always is trying to go somewhere. It's perhaps even time to just stay put, be here in this moment, experience the quality of silence and sense of uncertainty. To me it has that same feeling like staring at an empty canvas, when I'm readying myself to paint.
It is actually this moment, just before the burst of inspiration is invited into the field of perception. With the inspiration comes often times (perhaps always?) a creation of sorts. It may be really small, something rather personal, or something bigger, something of beauty or something that is totally meaningless for anyone other than myself. I don't know what it's going to be, but I do know that I am centered and honoring this place of silence. With this attitude, I feel I'm setting the stage, getting ready for "whatever" inside myself.
It is important to realize, so I believe, that attitude is in fact the tool to shape any experience. The attitude will dictate the lens through which I will experience the next "thing". I am in total control over my own attitude and if I experience that I am not, I have to remember that, in fact, I am. I am able to change my attitude towards anything at any given time. I'm not only able to use this tool, but if I am a self-loving co-creating human being, then it is my responsibility to put this tool to adequate use, be flexible with it and shape my reality with conscious purpose.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Maintaining Inner Balance
In every massive transformation process resides the challenge to maintain one's balance in the midst of chaos. The world is in chaos. There are pockets of seeming order, there are moments of sheer bliss. Yet overall, things are going haywire everywhere. People are hanging on to their routines, even when the attachment to them is utterly useless. It gives a sense of order.
The Earth herself is going through incredible changes right now and even though climate zones seem perhaps just a bit "out of the ordinary", earthquakes a little more than usual, we cannot stop our understanding that Mother Earth is birthing herself into a higher frequency. Solar flares and radiation are catalysts, for those who have already worked on raising their own personal frequencies they pose no threat. Instead, they pound and envelop the planet in quicker and quicker waves which are similar to the contractions in a birthing process. It is ok, that's the way it is all supposed to be, my helpers assure me. One could easily fall into the place of fear. There are obviously so many unknowns, there are at least an equal amount of differing opinions and I'm not really here to add mine. What I do know is that any person in the room with the mother who is about to give birth is keenly registered by the mother. His or her emotional state, the amount of balance and equanimity that that person emanates is very important to the well-being of the mother.
I see many of us not just as witnesses to this birthing process, but as some sort of doulas, if not midwifes. We are in the birthing room and the absolutely highest requirement is to have enough respect for the mother to maintain one's inner balance, if not for ourselves (ultimately we learn to do this, therefore we also benefit from this), then at least for our Earth Mother. It is so extremely important that those of us who are aware of our energies, maintain the equilibrium as often and as long as is possible.
If you find yourself swaying from that center point of balance, it is your responsibility to do whatever works for you to get back to the center point which is based in the higher heart chakra. (Music, meditation, intent, yoga, tai-chi...etc just to name a few of the available methods). The Earth will have a much easier birth if she doesn't have to deal with the erratic energies of those who are meant to assist this birth. It's the least we can do for her.
The Earth herself is going through incredible changes right now and even though climate zones seem perhaps just a bit "out of the ordinary", earthquakes a little more than usual, we cannot stop our understanding that Mother Earth is birthing herself into a higher frequency. Solar flares and radiation are catalysts, for those who have already worked on raising their own personal frequencies they pose no threat. Instead, they pound and envelop the planet in quicker and quicker waves which are similar to the contractions in a birthing process. It is ok, that's the way it is all supposed to be, my helpers assure me. One could easily fall into the place of fear. There are obviously so many unknowns, there are at least an equal amount of differing opinions and I'm not really here to add mine. What I do know is that any person in the room with the mother who is about to give birth is keenly registered by the mother. His or her emotional state, the amount of balance and equanimity that that person emanates is very important to the well-being of the mother.
I see many of us not just as witnesses to this birthing process, but as some sort of doulas, if not midwifes. We are in the birthing room and the absolutely highest requirement is to have enough respect for the mother to maintain one's inner balance, if not for ourselves (ultimately we learn to do this, therefore we also benefit from this), then at least for our Earth Mother. It is so extremely important that those of us who are aware of our energies, maintain the equilibrium as often and as long as is possible.
If you find yourself swaying from that center point of balance, it is your responsibility to do whatever works for you to get back to the center point which is based in the higher heart chakra. (Music, meditation, intent, yoga, tai-chi...etc just to name a few of the available methods). The Earth will have a much easier birth if she doesn't have to deal with the erratic energies of those who are meant to assist this birth. It's the least we can do for her.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Being Instead of Doing
It's been a busy day today. Time has played a number of tricks on me, or so it appears when I look back over this day. I was very productive, helping a friend, which was double the fun for me. Before doing that, I had actually time to do massive amounts of yard work. My body felt as if I had done just a little bit of yardwork. Somehow that kitchen was cleaned up too and I can't even remember putting any effort towards that. (no, it wasn't the kids!) In fact, it was an effortless day.
It wasn't just emotionally effortless, it was effortless in physical ways, in ways of "time management" which wasn't managed at all, but seemed like big chunks of effortless expansive moments of fun, somewhat arranged one after the other. There was still linearity to my day, but in bits and pieces, there was this sense of expansion that feels so very freeing. The effortless nature of my day is something that is very dear to me. I know of this sensation. I know that things can flow in this manner. I experience states like these when I am utterly creative. I have to say, up until today, I don't think I have experienced it while doing "chores".
The key factor was, that none of the things I have accomplished to day were a) called chores, by me or anyone else and b) they were not looked at as chores. The tasks almost completed themselves without my doing anything, but I can say, I had to "be" a whole lot in those big expansive moments today. I have spoken of being while doing before. This comes close, but it goes a step further. It was being INSTEAD of doing - and still accomplishing what needed to be done today.
From the physical point of view, I should feel absolutely beat today. I have done strenuous work, which normally would require physical care afterwards. Perhaps it was the dip in the pool that helped me regenerate quicker than normal, or it was the energy field I was operating in, that allowed me to enjoy my tasks swiftly and efficiently without feeling the normal 3rd density drag on my physical body's muscles.
As I said before, I have experiences like these when I'm being in the creative flow. When I'm painting or composing music. The body is involved, but my awareness is on the task at hand, I literally become that which I am aware of doing, hence I AM that which is being done and the "doing" happens effortlessly. With this sort of awareness, anything is possible and nothing is a drag. I have a sneaky feeling that I've just skimmed the surface of much more fun stuff that will become a normal experience quite soon.
It wasn't just emotionally effortless, it was effortless in physical ways, in ways of "time management" which wasn't managed at all, but seemed like big chunks of effortless expansive moments of fun, somewhat arranged one after the other. There was still linearity to my day, but in bits and pieces, there was this sense of expansion that feels so very freeing. The effortless nature of my day is something that is very dear to me. I know of this sensation. I know that things can flow in this manner. I experience states like these when I am utterly creative. I have to say, up until today, I don't think I have experienced it while doing "chores".
The key factor was, that none of the things I have accomplished to day were a) called chores, by me or anyone else and b) they were not looked at as chores. The tasks almost completed themselves without my doing anything, but I can say, I had to "be" a whole lot in those big expansive moments today. I have spoken of being while doing before. This comes close, but it goes a step further. It was being INSTEAD of doing - and still accomplishing what needed to be done today.
From the physical point of view, I should feel absolutely beat today. I have done strenuous work, which normally would require physical care afterwards. Perhaps it was the dip in the pool that helped me regenerate quicker than normal, or it was the energy field I was operating in, that allowed me to enjoy my tasks swiftly and efficiently without feeling the normal 3rd density drag on my physical body's muscles.
As I said before, I have experiences like these when I'm being in the creative flow. When I'm painting or composing music. The body is involved, but my awareness is on the task at hand, I literally become that which I am aware of doing, hence I AM that which is being done and the "doing" happens effortlessly. With this sort of awareness, anything is possible and nothing is a drag. I have a sneaky feeling that I've just skimmed the surface of much more fun stuff that will become a normal experience quite soon.
Friday, July 8, 2011
A Heart Based World
With every single act that is motivated by an open heart, humanity comes a step closer to becoming a heart based society, where fear based measures of protection are no longer needed. (The Elohim)
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Here's to my Fellow Lightworkers
In this world of physical manifestation, the more floaty, undefinable folks are usually either given the title fou-fou (which means crazy-crazy in French) or dismissed as really in need for psychological treatment. My heart goes out to all of those folks who haven't been able to leave a physical "mark" on the world, solely because their work is more energetic in nature.
It is not easy to always be working with the physically untouchable stuff, the energetic floaty stuff that nobody really has a name for. It's not always easy to be working behind the scenes either, unnoticed without any recognition from the outside world, for there is no contrast, no alternative scenario that is visible, hence nobody did anything at all...right? ...wrong!... There are a myriad of what is termed "lightworkers" and other wonderful caring folk who make it their daily routine for example to care for Mother Earth with their heart energy. (yes, they simply love this planet to bits!) Is it due to them that the west coast of the US hasn't seen any major earthquakes since New Zealand had one and then subsequently Japan? - One could deny such a coincidence, it's not scientific either to insist that it was their energy work and their love and care for the biosphere that has kept the ring of fire reasonably stable. I do insist that such work is going on though. I know it is. I know this, because it's an intrinsic part of my daily life. Yet, it does not get recognized and I'm sure there are many lightworkers out there who know what they are capable of, who know what their contribution is, yet they say nothing. It is not my own contributions that I wish to bring some recognition to, it is for my fellow lightworkers world wide, that I want to mention this truth. Their work, albeit mostly invisible to the physical eye, can be felt. It can be felt empathically, and even if it cannot be named, if it never makes the news, it has to be made known that this continuous love and support for the world at large is a definite factor in the overall state of the world today.
Not in the bad state of this world, but in the not quite AS bad state of the world. Imagine a world without lightworkers, imagine a world where nobody gave a hoot about the planet. Imagine a world where the real affairs and powers of the heart are dismissed as fou-fou and everybody would abide by that judgment?... Now that would be a very crazy world in my imagination.
Personally, I feel that there are many very dedicated lovers of humanity, lovers of Mother Earth, lovers of the plant, animal and mineral kingdoms, and lovers of the light out there who would do well taking a moment lighting a candle for themselves, in full recognition and appreciation of their relentless energetic work. Without it, we would be far worse off than we currently are.
It is not easy to always be working with the physically untouchable stuff, the energetic floaty stuff that nobody really has a name for. It's not always easy to be working behind the scenes either, unnoticed without any recognition from the outside world, for there is no contrast, no alternative scenario that is visible, hence nobody did anything at all...right? ...wrong!... There are a myriad of what is termed "lightworkers" and other wonderful caring folk who make it their daily routine for example to care for Mother Earth with their heart energy. (yes, they simply love this planet to bits!) Is it due to them that the west coast of the US hasn't seen any major earthquakes since New Zealand had one and then subsequently Japan? - One could deny such a coincidence, it's not scientific either to insist that it was their energy work and their love and care for the biosphere that has kept the ring of fire reasonably stable. I do insist that such work is going on though. I know it is. I know this, because it's an intrinsic part of my daily life. Yet, it does not get recognized and I'm sure there are many lightworkers out there who know what they are capable of, who know what their contribution is, yet they say nothing. It is not my own contributions that I wish to bring some recognition to, it is for my fellow lightworkers world wide, that I want to mention this truth. Their work, albeit mostly invisible to the physical eye, can be felt. It can be felt empathically, and even if it cannot be named, if it never makes the news, it has to be made known that this continuous love and support for the world at large is a definite factor in the overall state of the world today.
Not in the bad state of this world, but in the not quite AS bad state of the world. Imagine a world without lightworkers, imagine a world where nobody gave a hoot about the planet. Imagine a world where the real affairs and powers of the heart are dismissed as fou-fou and everybody would abide by that judgment?... Now that would be a very crazy world in my imagination.
Personally, I feel that there are many very dedicated lovers of humanity, lovers of Mother Earth, lovers of the plant, animal and mineral kingdoms, and lovers of the light out there who would do well taking a moment lighting a candle for themselves, in full recognition and appreciation of their relentless energetic work. Without it, we would be far worse off than we currently are.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
The Center of my Heart
Lately I've been acutely aware of the interconnectedness of everything that is. It hasn't been merely a thought or a sense of knowledge. The awareness is on all levels. The most pronounced thing this awareness brings for me, is the responsibility of my words and deeds. Every little thing in my experience and expression does have an effect on the whole of Creation as I can see and at times I feel overwhelmed, as I take in the scope of this awareness more and more. I also know that whenever I become aware that I'm not quite at the center point of my heart, I know I want to get back. It's therefore an easy decision to keep stepping into the center of my heart over and over again.
Only from that vantage point do I feel comfortable enough that my words and deeds are in fact having an effect on the rest of Creation that I can live with. I don't necessarily want to say that I can only do good now. I'm still a human being and as such, there's alas still good and bad in my experience. However, I believe that by making a very regular effort to keep bringing my focus and attention to that center point in my heart, where the unconditional love dictates my words and deeds, I will be able to live with myself a lot easier.
I'm aware that these words sound a bit as if I put a whole lot of stress and expectations onto myself, but I don't believe that to be true. I just feel that the stubborn return to my heart center is something that is needed so I can live with the responsibility that the awareness of my effect on the whole has.
Only from that vantage point do I feel comfortable enough that my words and deeds are in fact having an effect on the rest of Creation that I can live with. I don't necessarily want to say that I can only do good now. I'm still a human being and as such, there's alas still good and bad in my experience. However, I believe that by making a very regular effort to keep bringing my focus and attention to that center point in my heart, where the unconditional love dictates my words and deeds, I will be able to live with myself a lot easier.
I'm aware that these words sound a bit as if I put a whole lot of stress and expectations onto myself, but I don't believe that to be true. I just feel that the stubborn return to my heart center is something that is needed so I can live with the responsibility that the awareness of my effect on the whole has.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Rejoicing in Divine Diversity
The more I am getting used to not identifying with anything at all, the more I begin to recognize and also appreciate the myriad of different expressions manifest all around me. Be they in nature, or "man-made", be they opinions or political statements, there is no end to the diversity that is ever present all around me. In the state of nothingness, there is no attachment nor aversion to any one of these manifestations. In that state, everything just is - or isn't - or both.
In the waves of awareness that are washing through me in the state of nothingness, I become aware of the incredible Divine joy that is a signature of those waves. It is in the recognition and the awareness of the diversity that I'm experiencing. Each and every little detail can be enjoyed, recognized made fully aware. It is obvious that everything is but a part of a greater whole, but by diving into the state of nothingness, I have made room within myself to embrace the very small parts as well as the whole. In this, I embrace the joy of Divine Diversity and see the blessing that comes from having the Universal law of "free will". It is quite a Creation we have here! - Anything goes !
In the waves of awareness that are washing through me in the state of nothingness, I become aware of the incredible Divine joy that is a signature of those waves. It is in the recognition and the awareness of the diversity that I'm experiencing. Each and every little detail can be enjoyed, recognized made fully aware. It is obvious that everything is but a part of a greater whole, but by diving into the state of nothingness, I have made room within myself to embrace the very small parts as well as the whole. In this, I embrace the joy of Divine Diversity and see the blessing that comes from having the Universal law of "free will". It is quite a Creation we have here! - Anything goes !
Monday, July 4, 2011
In a Moment
In a moment, everything dissolves into nothing.
In a moment, sense becomes nonsensical
In a moment, connection is but a bridge to wholeness
Wholeness is in motion, waves upon waves
In a moment, reason becomes unreasonable
In a moment, promises are forgotten, for it is a new moment.
In this new moment, everything is recreated anew.
Dances of color, light and sound.
Floating in space, marching on solid ground
Creation unfolds, time folds unto itself
In a moment, importance becomes unimportant.
A new moment imposes itself onto the old.
A new imprint, a new potential, taken or forsaken
In a moment.
In a moment, sense becomes nonsensical
In a moment, connection is but a bridge to wholeness
Wholeness is in motion, waves upon waves
In a moment, reason becomes unreasonable
In a moment, promises are forgotten, for it is a new moment.
In this new moment, everything is recreated anew.
Dances of color, light and sound.
Floating in space, marching on solid ground
Creation unfolds, time folds unto itself
In a moment, importance becomes unimportant.
A new moment imposes itself onto the old.
A new imprint, a new potential, taken or forsaken
In a moment.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
.... I am Nothing
Yesterday's blog post was of course not the conclusion of my thought patterns. How could I think to stop at "nothingness" ? I can't stop at that point, my curiosity just doesn't allow me to do that. I've ended yesterday's blog with: "I have to allow myself to be nothing at all." In a way, that is a rather scary thought. I am curious enough to go further with this thought, but before I do, I feel the need to define "nothing". What is a state of "nothing". Is there such a thing? Is it even possible to be nothing? A dictionary says that "nothing" is "not anything" or more pertinently for the case I am making here: "no single thing"
I like this definition of "no single thing". That is exactly what went through my mind when I spoke of nothing in my post yesterday. In the expression of "no single thing" there is a whole lot of energy, not nothing at all really.
If there is "no single thing" - that means there is no single thing defined. That does not imply that there is no thing at all. If there is no single thing defined, I sense that there is a lot of potential for anything imaginable and beyond.
That is also exactly the sensation of my inability to identify myself with anything in particular. I am nothing means thus for me, that I am an endless, never ending pool of potential, of anything imaginable and also anything that is currently unimaginable, but may become imaginable in a different moment, when energies swirl differently than they do in this very moment. So therefore, nothing becomes very easily "everything" and with that it follows that as a truth of Creation, something that is experienced, holds the very opposite state within.
With a simple shift of focus of perception, one can zoom out into a view where both opposites become visible. One can also experience both opposites at the same time instead of one after another. When that happens, the experience is that of a third energy form, more complete than either of the polar opposites. Thus my understanding of "I am nothing" or "I am everything" becomes a different one altogether. One of simultaneously being nothing and everything. At this conjuncture, the ego is flying out of its vacation spot and tries to claim that new experience as an identity, I laugh and send it back to its island, where it can sunbathe and have fun for a good while longer.
Claiming an identity is ultimately part of a structure that allows one to make sense of one's life. When the heart becomes still and is ok with there being no sense at all and at the same time all the sense there is, then identity becomes a thing that is no longer needed. The experience of freedom that is flooding through me at this revelation is immense. I am this, I am that, I am nothing, I am everything... I laugh, I dance, it matters very little what I think about myself. It matters even less what anyone else thinks about me, or how they wish to see me - Everything is allowed at this point.
I like this definition of "no single thing". That is exactly what went through my mind when I spoke of nothing in my post yesterday. In the expression of "no single thing" there is a whole lot of energy, not nothing at all really.
If there is "no single thing" - that means there is no single thing defined. That does not imply that there is no thing at all. If there is no single thing defined, I sense that there is a lot of potential for anything imaginable and beyond.
That is also exactly the sensation of my inability to identify myself with anything in particular. I am nothing means thus for me, that I am an endless, never ending pool of potential, of anything imaginable and also anything that is currently unimaginable, but may become imaginable in a different moment, when energies swirl differently than they do in this very moment. So therefore, nothing becomes very easily "everything" and with that it follows that as a truth of Creation, something that is experienced, holds the very opposite state within.
With a simple shift of focus of perception, one can zoom out into a view where both opposites become visible. One can also experience both opposites at the same time instead of one after another. When that happens, the experience is that of a third energy form, more complete than either of the polar opposites. Thus my understanding of "I am nothing" or "I am everything" becomes a different one altogether. One of simultaneously being nothing and everything. At this conjuncture, the ego is flying out of its vacation spot and tries to claim that new experience as an identity, I laugh and send it back to its island, where it can sunbathe and have fun for a good while longer.
Claiming an identity is ultimately part of a structure that allows one to make sense of one's life. When the heart becomes still and is ok with there being no sense at all and at the same time all the sense there is, then identity becomes a thing that is no longer needed. The experience of freedom that is flooding through me at this revelation is immense. I am this, I am that, I am nothing, I am everything... I laugh, I dance, it matters very little what I think about myself. It matters even less what anyone else thinks about me, or how they wish to see me - Everything is allowed at this point.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Where is my Tribe?
There is a development making itself known these days, possibly triggered by the massive energy surges I was speaking of earlier. This sensation isn't new. It has been with me for as long as I can remember. It's that yearning to be with "my tribe" of people. A friend of mine has expressed this very same longing and I've had no real answer to give. In compassion and sympathy we were able to commiserate and support each other for a bit, but that was all. The peoples of our relative tribes haven't shown up since then, and I believe they haven't shown up for a long time. In fact, aside from some stragglers, some loners like myself, they haven't shown up at all.
It is with some sense of futility that I've laid even that last "tribe" that I've tried to belong to, aside. It's not my tribe. Yes, I'm a homeopath, qualified too, yes, I do believe that with homeopathy I am able to help heal people (animals, plants...) and yes, I feel a kinship with other homeopaths and my alma mater. I cannot say, that they are my tribe though. I do see how they interact with each other, all tribal and connected, I cannot level with them on their tribal playing field. I know and feel that I'm connected with everyone, that's not the question for me. What I am feeling again, sporadically, in cycles, is that sense of "lone wolf".
In the past, this feeling would have thrown me into a spell of depression, or it's compensatory state, a time of seeking company, parties, just not to be alone. Today, I'm approaching this sense of being utterly alone in my world, despite knowing and feeling the oneness of all that is, with a sense of wonder. The training as a homeopath is helping me here. I am observing without prejudice, the state I am in. I give it no judgment. I give it no qualification. I do not determine whether this state is right or wrong. It just is. The pattern of my experience is unfolding with well known precision. In observing it, with the curiosity of a child, I am able to take the sting out of the situation. It's ok, to experience this state for that which is really is. My "tribe" (if there even is such a thing), the people or souls of my group are not in my immediate environment, here incarnated, here in my home town. They just simply are not here. It is to a degree that I have chosen this experience, since it does not allow me to fully hook into any particular identification. I know homeopathy for example, I practice homeopathy, my identity however is not "homeopath". And so it goes with all my different qualifications. I am NOT any of them. My identity is not "mother", nor is it "sister", nor "friend" or "neighbor" (I do have friends and neighbors and they are very dear to me). My identity isn't even the "higher self", whose name I know. It is none of that. My identity just isn't definable and I can see only one reason for this at present time: I am not to stay in one role for any length of time, but fluctuate between many roles, wear many hats, the right hat at the right time ... that kind of scenario.
There are bits that grow really tired of all that seeming inability to "stick with something". I also don't want to see myself as commitment-phobic. It appears that to fully live as a "Jack-of-all-trades", I have to allow myself to be nothing at all.
It is with some sense of futility that I've laid even that last "tribe" that I've tried to belong to, aside. It's not my tribe. Yes, I'm a homeopath, qualified too, yes, I do believe that with homeopathy I am able to help heal people (animals, plants...) and yes, I feel a kinship with other homeopaths and my alma mater. I cannot say, that they are my tribe though. I do see how they interact with each other, all tribal and connected, I cannot level with them on their tribal playing field. I know and feel that I'm connected with everyone, that's not the question for me. What I am feeling again, sporadically, in cycles, is that sense of "lone wolf".
In the past, this feeling would have thrown me into a spell of depression, or it's compensatory state, a time of seeking company, parties, just not to be alone. Today, I'm approaching this sense of being utterly alone in my world, despite knowing and feeling the oneness of all that is, with a sense of wonder. The training as a homeopath is helping me here. I am observing without prejudice, the state I am in. I give it no judgment. I give it no qualification. I do not determine whether this state is right or wrong. It just is. The pattern of my experience is unfolding with well known precision. In observing it, with the curiosity of a child, I am able to take the sting out of the situation. It's ok, to experience this state for that which is really is. My "tribe" (if there even is such a thing), the people or souls of my group are not in my immediate environment, here incarnated, here in my home town. They just simply are not here. It is to a degree that I have chosen this experience, since it does not allow me to fully hook into any particular identification. I know homeopathy for example, I practice homeopathy, my identity however is not "homeopath". And so it goes with all my different qualifications. I am NOT any of them. My identity is not "mother", nor is it "sister", nor "friend" or "neighbor" (I do have friends and neighbors and they are very dear to me). My identity isn't even the "higher self", whose name I know. It is none of that. My identity just isn't definable and I can see only one reason for this at present time: I am not to stay in one role for any length of time, but fluctuate between many roles, wear many hats, the right hat at the right time ... that kind of scenario.
There are bits that grow really tired of all that seeming inability to "stick with something". I also don't want to see myself as commitment-phobic. It appears that to fully live as a "Jack-of-all-trades", I have to allow myself to be nothing at all.
Friday, July 1, 2011
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