Yesterday's blog post was of course not the conclusion of my thought patterns. How could I think to stop at "nothingness" ? I can't stop at that point, my curiosity just doesn't allow me to do that. I've ended yesterday's blog with: "I have to allow myself to be nothing at all." In a way, that is a rather scary thought. I am curious enough to go further with this thought, but before I do, I feel the need to define "nothing". What is a state of "nothing". Is there such a thing? Is it even possible to be nothing? A dictionary says that "nothing" is "not anything" or more pertinently for the case I am making here: "no single thing"
I like this definition of "no single thing". That is exactly what went through my mind when I spoke of nothing in my post yesterday. In the expression of "no single thing" there is a whole lot of energy, not nothing at all really.
If there is "no single thing" - that means there is no single thing defined. That does not imply that there is no thing at all. If there is no single thing defined, I sense that there is a lot of potential for anything imaginable and beyond.
That is also exactly the sensation of my inability to identify myself with anything in particular. I am nothing means thus for me, that I am an endless, never ending pool of potential, of anything imaginable and also anything that is currently unimaginable, but may become imaginable in a different moment, when energies swirl differently than they do in this very moment. So therefore, nothing becomes very easily "everything" and with that it follows that as a truth of Creation, something that is experienced, holds the very opposite state within.
With a simple shift of focus of perception, one can zoom out into a view where both opposites become visible. One can also experience both opposites at the same time instead of one after another. When that happens, the experience is that of a third energy form, more complete than either of the polar opposites. Thus my understanding of "I am nothing" or "I am everything" becomes a different one altogether. One of simultaneously being nothing and everything. At this conjuncture, the ego is flying out of its vacation spot and tries to claim that new experience as an identity, I laugh and send it back to its island, where it can sunbathe and have fun for a good while longer.
Claiming an identity is ultimately part of a structure that allows one to make sense of one's life. When the heart becomes still and is ok with there being no sense at all and at the same time all the sense there is, then identity becomes a thing that is no longer needed. The experience of freedom that is flooding through me at this revelation is immense. I am this, I am that, I am nothing, I am everything... I laugh, I dance, it matters very little what I think about myself. It matters even less what anyone else thinks about me, or how they wish to see me - Everything is allowed at this point.