Before I can step into my true power, I need to ask myself a few questions:
What is true power?
I have only my viewpoint here. Answers to this question may differ and I am not claiming absolute validity for my own answer, it does work for me though.
True power for me is when I am fully aware and in line with every last bit of my soul. When that happens, so I imagine, my full essence, my soul, will express itself unhindered through this vessel of my physical body.
True power is not borrowed from any other source, but IS my own self. True power is individual. My true power isn’t your true power and vice versa. I cannot claim anyone else’s power as mine. I cannot deny my own power and claim that it isn’t here.
In reverse, it means that as long as I do not live and express my true power here on earth, there is a part of my soul that doesn’t express itself fully here.
Why am I not in it already ?
That question implies that I am not in my true power. I know I am not. This knowledge is a revelation I glean from watching my environment react to me even when I do nothing out of the ordinary. It is my environment, my mirror that tells me in no uncertain terms, that I am still somewhat afraid of my full power. (People have been and are still afraid of me at times). I see in that mirror, that I put my power down. (People are putting my power down for me and thus show me that that is what I am doing within.) This was a subconscious, and is now a conscious thing – I have learned to live with the inability to step into my full power for many life times and I see the source. The drama of once (or multiple times) having overstepped my bounds and abused my power and created quite some damage has resulted in a compensatory reaction of epic proportion. The trait of being overly careful and downright hiding my power (my soul).
What are the consequences of stepping into my true power?
Well, that’s what I’m afraid of. Downright scared actually… What if I repeat my oops’ from back when? To let down my safeguards that have caused me to tread safely on Earth, lifetime after lifetime without stepping into my full power.
I hear my inner voice … it gently says: “it’s time now to let that go, there is no need to keep hiding your true power”. So it is time huh? .. I will have to ease my way gently into letting down these very important safeguards, for they have helped me stay true to my heart, they have kept me from being overzealous, they have helped me not to inflict harm on others. They have been a very important structure and crutch. To let that all go now seems rather difficult, but I know I will get my courage up and do what’s before me. I know I will work up the trust that I have learned my lessons well and that I will not repeat my mistakes. I know it’s time to realize that I’ve done enough penance – it’s ok now to trust my heart, it’s ok to know that I’m ready.
What are the consequences for not stepping into my true power?
Now that’s really quite the bomb here for me. The implications of what I could all do wrong by stepping into my power are very clear, they seem to be burned into my consciousness. Little did I know that all these lifetimes, where I denied myself the expression of my full power, I have done damage as well. There’s that mine field of polarity again, no matter what you choose…
The consequence for denying myself and the world the expression of my full power is quite big. I cannot fail to see the many instances when I avoided responsibility of who I truly am and what I truly am capable of. Out of fear of causing harm, I’ve failed to bring light to this world. (I know that sounds quite crass, but in essence, it brings home the point.) There is an actual responsibility here, the responsibility to bring onto this physical plane the FULL potential, the full power of the soul. I’ve shirked this responsibility and am facing it now.
Suddenly everything becomes very clear. What I thought was just the fantastic freedom of middle age, where “wearing my purple hat” and thus expressing my quirkiness any way I choose, was but the very first steps out of my very own prison, where I have kept my power under tight wraps.