Friday, June 17, 2011

In Limbo

The sense of limbo is extreme today. The last few days have been so very busy that I have not even had a moment to really think about anything. I am busy still, wrapping up as much garden work as I can muster, for the sunshine is fierce and the dirt is drying out rapidly. I have this sense of limbo, there is the promise of a new beginning, yet I hold not even the faintest idea as to what this new thing is all about. I experience impatience, I am done waiting, at least that's how it feels today. Where's the action?

With the impatience due to not knowing where to look for that new beginning, I reflect on where I have seen signs of the new. Beautifully and synchronistically it has announced itself in my extended family with the birth of a healthy baby boy yesterday. The lunar eclipse has wiped out old emotional ties that are no longer needed, yet new ones haven't formed as of yet. I see separation in some family branches. I see some genetic material being thrown up into the awareness of some very young people. They are strong and worthy of the task that will lead to transformation of those patterns that are visible so distinctly in some family lines. In that point where all that is left is the observation of whatever goes on around me, where no real action is coming forth, other than some errands, tasks and everyday stuff, I settle myself into the place of limbo and explore it for a bit. My personality has a hard time with the idea of limbo, but I find some shreds of innate calm and what could perhaps even be perceived as laziness. They help me enter this place of "limbo" and feel at ease.

As I settle myself through a thought impulse into the place of limbo, that place where the old is done and the new hasn't shown itself yet, I find a deep source of trust. It is the trust that whispers to me that everything is alright. This space of "limbo" is a sense of staying very deeply connected with the now moment and it has a rhythm to it, that I would not have noticed, had I not decided to surrender to this state fully. This rhythm, so I find out is very similar to a steady breathing pattern. It is calming and reassuring. It may just be one of the coolest spots I've had the courage to explore and I'm mighty glad to have surrendered to the inevitable, the place that already IS and needs no old nor new through which to define itself.

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