Monday, December 20, 2010

Conscious Mirror

As I take a look at my reality, I see my innermost beliefs, patterns, flaws, good sides all of it reflected back at me. This is how we learn about ourselves, how we become aware. Although I have grown quite used to this concept and use it wherever I can to integrate new and ongoing reflections of this mirror thing, I've had an experience that explained some past experiences in my life.

It was quite funny actually. Out of a serene state, I was in the moment, doing my thing, I had an interaction with my daughter and out of the blue I turned into a teenager myself, not just how I spoke, but how I felt. I turned into her! I acted as dramatic as she did. (and this when I just thought I had said good bye to drama!!) I presented her with exactly the mirror of what she had displayed. After the drama had died down, I was as serene in my moment as I had been before. I was dumbfounded at first. What on Earth had just happened? Why could I not stay focused on where I was at, in my center, vibrating at my normal level of energetic frequency? Yet, I did not feel that I had been "suckered" or "drawn" into her drama. The transition between the two states (serenity and drama) were just too abrupt.

I took some time to reflect on this and realized that still, everything is as it's supposed to be. There was no need for remorse for my part in the drama. I clearly saw that it hadn't been a slip on my part. I saw that I had lent my energy to play a part. It was quite surreal, for this part was not in line with who I felt myself to be just seconds before I took it on and played it out. I realized that I had actively taken the job of presenting her with a mirror. It was played out with the greatest amount of love as undercurrent. It had absolutely no connotation of even believing myself in this "act". It was clearly a moment of having actively and in full awareness been a mirror. I was fully aware that it was a play. When it was played out, I had left that stage and returned to my true self.

A word of concern:

I know that by writing about this experience in this fashion I run risk to give "ideas" that would allow for "off" behavior to be excused as "I was just your mirror". This possibility stares at me like a red warning flag. I believe that it is of utmost importance to be very honest with oneself to avoid going there and when in doubt, first honestly and deeply examine one's own motivations, patterns, susceptibilities etc., if we have behaved in a way that is less than in line with what we know to be part of our hearts.

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