I've spouted words how we create our own reality. That's fine and well, but when I find myself in that one area of abundance, definitely blessed, no complaints really, but most of the abundance not of my own creation, I find it a bit hard to insist towards the universe, that I wish so intensely to take this hurdle, that seems to be one of the last big ones as far as I can tell ... (Mind you, whenever I make such a statement I'll be proven horribly wrong soon after, so that would make the hurdle I am currently aiming at just a bit smaller - yay for cleverness!)
I've worked hard on getting all my ducks in a row (no, not the Oregon Ducks... no need for cheers). I've set myself up finally deciding on a "profession" that could potentially benefit others (that's important to me) and also use some of the talents that I brought into this life. Most importantly, this profession fills me with such joy that I face the very first pattern inside that tells me:
"How could I possibly ask for monetary compensation when I have so much joy doing this ?"
Yes, that's quite a blocker in making money by doing what i love doing. I have this blocker and my reality shows clearly that a lot of folks actually behave and actively deliver me with the reality I'm creating. Well, thanks guys! ...
I decide to take mini-steps at solving this abundance/money making issue. It's such a big one for so many people, that I feel it's OK that I do it semi-publicly on my blog. If just one other person finds this helpful on their journey to consciously creating Source-given monetary abundance without falling into the pitfalls of greed etc, then I'm going to be happy as a clam.
I am aware that each person tackling this issue will have different patterns that block the flow of money, or limit the flow of money. It is not up to me to find your patterns, but I'll try and demonstrate with mine what can be done.
Anyways, so I have this issue. I'd be ok with getting a job, doing something for 8 hours that I don't like and get paid for it. Of course I would be alright with that, for the payment would not be for my work, but for the fact that I had to do something I didn't want to do in the first place. It's nothing but right to get paid then ! Yeah that is the flipside of the coin. Quite stubborn this pattern. I am actually technically able, to sell the wellbeing of my soul. (OK that makes me swallow for a moment).
First I embrace this new awareness. It stings a bit, but hey, there it is, written up for all to see who are reading this blog. It stuns me as well. I sit here with thoughts going around in my head. Who said it was ok to do something I don't like doing and get paid for it and prefer getting paid for that rather than for something i love doing, something I enjoy? Where does this distortion from the eternal truths of love, joy and abundance come from? It's quite strong and I can see tentacles of this going way back and a memory floods into my conscious mind: My mother, may she rest in peace, had a very strong opinion about this: "Work first, then play". I believe it came from her mother, who was born exactly 100 years before my daughter. She was German, East Prussian really, you know the steely general type nurse who lived through 2 world wars, who had served at the frontlines in WWI.... that kind of resolve and patterning comes through the bloodlines. Kinda hits you in the backside....
No play without work. Work is good, play is secondary. Work is wholesome. You don't have to like it but you sure as hell have do DO it. Only then will you reap the benefit. Work cannot possibly be joyful that way.
There it is. All out in the open. I have had awareness on the fringes of these patterns, but just never really took them seriously. How could I neglect these patterns, they are responsible for the less than abundant reality I am creating for myself. It's not that I dislike money. I actually like money. Money is a fantastic commodity. It allows for so many fun experiences. The lack of money, well that's the hard part. I can't even say there is actual lack of money in my life. What I do see is lack of monetary compensation for something I enjoy beyond measure. (I believe it is really important to clearly identify the makings of the limiting patterns).
Now, pivotal point, how do I go about changing this ?
Drudgery gets paid - Enjoyment does not get paid. or worse still, enjoyment costs money.
I can't work with the opposites here. I believe to have come to a place where I have to fake it until I make it. It is a fundamental thinking process that needs to be changed. Now that I have identified at least one blockage, I can consciously reprogram myself.
Broadly spread affirmations per se don't really work for me - I see right through them. However, if I have identified a thought process that no longer serves me, I can train myself to change what it says. Instead of playing the old tape, I will now say:
"Imagine what I could do and share if what I love doing will be paid a fair price ?"
"I am open, ready and willing to keep doing what I love doing and receive free flowing monetary compensation which is fair, balanced and in line with what I offer."
OK - these statements bring a fuzzy feeling to my heart. I'm signing off now, for this is "live". I don't know what the next step will be, but I've agreed with my higher self to put it up here on my blog, so stay tuned ;)