While journeying along on my own path, I've come to a place where an epiphany hit me hard. I am writing this up, as many have found to resonate with my blogs in a syncronistic way. This indicates to me that there are those out there, who are journeying a similar path perhaps, or are passing through a similar vibratory frequency than I am. That's as always beyond any form of judgment. It is just a matter of energy vibration, geometric pattern that are similar, or perhaps a sound, a melody that harmonizes with what I am perceiving, or "where I'm at". Let's really take this out of the 3D paradigm of comparison, competition, right or wrong etc.
I've noticed that until very recently, I've taken things that I have perceived personal. To me, perceiving more and more in a very conscious manner meant being more and more vigilant. There could be something out there that I'm witnessing, experiencing, being triggered by that needs my attention, that needs cleansing etc. Those of you who resonate with my words are most likely the sort who has worked very hard on personal development. The culmination of this is the remembering of who we are, the re-connection with the divine state of love, self-love. In this culmination however is also that gem, the realization that not everything that I have felt is mine. There are emotions, sensations really that I have taken on as "mine" that emanate from the Source of all things. One of them, and that's what I'm trying to share here, is the realization that the Source of all that is experiences the sensation of "lack of love", "lack of recognition by the many sparks that they too are love" so to speak. The Source is not really pained by it, but I do experience this in this body as a form of yearning to reach the recognition, which in this body translates to a sense of "homesickness". A sense of "lacking the essence in order to feel well, or complete". I have translated this feeling of mine into "this is my inability to cope being on the planet", or worse yet sometimes into feelings of low self-esteem/lack of self-love in the sense of "I'm not good enough the way I am".These responses of mine have accompanied me all my life.
I have long since coped with those emotional responses, dealt with them, but never quite found the one key that freed me from their persistent nag. I've searched far and wide and cleared up all the bits that were mine. I can say this in retrospect, because the remnant of all those feelings and emotional responses that just wouldn't clear out, has fallen away instantaneously the moment I have realized that they are not really mine and have let go of trying to integrate them into my personal systems.
By proxy, they are still mine, but not in origin. They are the Source's compassion, yearning and sense of wanting it all to come together again. (Words are really very hard here and I'm sure I'm not quite hitting the mark). I had been experiencing the energy of the source and it had been my primary drive to develop and grow. It was a key in my life to have this drive, it was meant to be and I experienced having this drive as very helpful. I wouldn't change a thing. Timing is always perfect and I now enjoy the immense sense of resolve, relief and relaxation that comes with associating that which isn't mine personally with it's true source.