Self-love, yes, that's really where it's at, isn't it? - How can we learn to love ourselves? - No, I'm not going to give a tutorial. I think it's actually an individual process, the journey that we are all on, whether we go straight into the direction of self-love or the opposite direction is of little consequence in the long run. All I am able to do is share my personal experience that I have so far.
What happens when we consciously strive to attain a greater understanding of self-love, is that our reality, our experiences around us will gear up and show us on every twist and turn of our journey what we need to see. Sometimes this is in form of someone giving us kudos. In that instance, we have a choice to accept that kudos gracefully or to deny it. Depending on what we chose, we will then encounter another little prod from the universe, usually in the form of another human being, who will show us just how lovable we actually are. It is up to each individual to embrace each bit of self-loving energy. Then it needs to be integrated and maintained. We cannot hope to accept a compliment graciously and then forget about it until we hear the next compliment, each little gift that comes our way builds on top of the last and I believe that it is up to each person to keep integrating these tokens of truth.
Another way of learning self-love is to encounter a person whom we see as being "light-filled", or just simply "beautiful and shining". It is these shining qualities that attract us like moths to the light. When we accept these qualities, that shining light and the unconditional love they emanate, we are in fact accepting that quality within ourselves, for they are but mirrors for us.
Beyond simple acceptance, I have experienced two different reactions to such a mirror. One of them is to deny that this person's light is truly as bright as I have initially seen. The other one is to feel threatened by it. Both reactions suggest and emphasize that my light is smaller than that of the person who has shown me that kind of mirror and in both instances, whether I just simply deny their light, or ask them: (or myself quietly within) "Who do you think you are?? (To shine that brightly and know that you do ?"). In both examples I am denying their light within and dim my own light by proxy, for I have either ignored or shattered the mirror.
By doing that, without fail, I have denied or ignored the light of "All that Is" and am no step closer to self-love than I was before the encounter. Luckily enough, the set-up of learning is such that we get as many tries as we need to finally grow in our own understanding and awareness to more and more fully embrace the light that we are, beaming it out into the world, becoming a mirror as well, to all other lights who have come to seek the skill of self-love.