Monday, October 25, 2010

Time Travel

It's 80's week on facebook. Some folks including myself put up a picture of themselves that was taken in the 1980s. I want to speak of the effect this had on me. I put up a picture of myself and was instantly taken to that time frame. I ended up identifying with myself as if I was 28 years young again. There was no difference. I felt as I had felt then, I had lost the sensation of how I feel today. I was immersed totally in the time of 1989. After a day of really feeling young and reckless as I had back then, I put up an even younger picture. That one was taken in 1984. Again, I felt transported into that part of my life. Not to the exact day, but I had absolutely vivid memories of what music we had listened to then and who had taken the picture, etc. The people of that time were in my life as if they had never left. I was not in the US anymore, I was in Switzerland, in my old apartment and I felt like I did when I was 23.

Of course it all left me emotionally a bit shaken, as some parts of my life then were really difficult to handle then - and still. There are still questions open for me, and I believe they will remain that way. That aside, I realized that I had left my place of now and had moved into the past very easily. It was really an instant time travel so to speak, not physically, but definitely on all other levels, i.e. emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

I stayed in the past a whole day. I had glimpses of the now throughout my day, but my focus point was definitely 1984. It was amazing how many memories surfaced, as if it were very fresh. I believe that it was more than just memories. What it felt like was like time was inconsequential. In my consciousness I visited the past and saw everything, felt everything and relived everything as if I was immersed in that time as my now. It was as if the focus on the 1984 spot on my timeline was where I was and therefore the light was shining on that place and I could access all that had happened then (minus the physical players of the drama).

Today, upon waking, I had carried on through the night the not so nice emotional state of that time and was affected by it. I could hardly get my kids fed and sent off to school. Everything felt so entirely wrong. It was like moving through a sea of glue. Every little thing I had to do, from making breakfast to getting dressed was just absolutely bizarre. My heart ached and I felt very intensely that I was out of synch.

After a while and a good sip of home-made heart elixir, I realized that it would take a conscious effort to get me back to my now, where things flow freely. So I intended to be in the now and pulled myself up out of the past and am currently feeling very relaxed again. It is my conscious thought that directs where I reside on my time line and I am responsible for this every day anew.

This experience showed me that time is indeed an illusion - all happens now. The loss I suffered back in 1986, which pertained to the events beginning in 1984, is not really a loss. All is still there, in place, ready for me to revisit if I truly wish it. Just without the bodies involved, which shows very clearly that we are way more than our physical existence.

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