Saturday, October 9, 2010

Changing a Belief

Today, I feel that the grip my belief has had on me for so long has loosened a great deal. Recognition, the point of becoming aware is half the battle. Today, I am embarking on exploring what it feels like to don the cape of "Everybody listens to me" - It's new territory. It's the unknown and it does hold some energy that I feel is important to look at, so I will do that here "live" so to speak.

I sit here, letting the thoughts wander to this belief so 180° from what I had believed for so long. I look at it, steady, tip toeing close to it, backing off again - approaching it again. There is reluctance. I am observing that this new belief towards which I am trying to evolve, holds fear. I realize that although the old belief has hindered me in many ways, it has also become a safe place, an excuse so to speak. This is a moment when the "what if" is allowed - so I muse over what if it were so that I experienced that everybody listened to me.

It feels to me, that that idea carries a whole lot of responsibility that I would have to take on and as I look deeper, I find a rather childish belief that is attached here. It says: "when people listen, they automatically embrace what they hear". My adult mind says: "not necessarily!"... every person can listen, yet still decide to walk away from what they have heard. The only responsibility that is there, is that they cannot unhear what I have said. So there is the element of influencing others. I'm realizing that by not speaking what is in my mind, by not bringing out the words that want to be shared, I am equally responsible for all those who potentially wanted to hear what I would have to say - hmmmm.... It boils back down to "you're responsible no matter what" ... ok !... i can live with that.

Again, I approach this new belief - tip toe closer in my mind, check for hang-ups, check for sensations that arise within. The fear I felt initially is gone. (yes, it's that easy to work through fear, it took but seconds, drama is absolutely superfluous).

I am finding myself wearing the belief of "Everybody listens to me" like a thin cloak. The energy feels really good. It infuses me with strength, with resolve to keep telling my tales. There is a sweetness to embracing this new belief, it has a feel of "right" to it. It's rather difficult to describe. It feels as if certain bits in my energetic make up just found a counterpart, connected and are thus energized, activated perhaps. That sounds really sci-fi, doesn't it ? - well possibly it is. These bits are deep within each cell. It's a guess, but I believe I've just touched upon my own DNA and altered it. I can't be sure, but somehow, if you asked me how altering DNA would feel, I could imagine describing it this way. In the 80s, I believe the word for this process was "integration" and back then it took months to years to accomplish, what I am doing here in mere minutes.

This increase in speed with which things can change, is the absolute blessing in this decade. There is no suffering in this process. It is easy, based on clear and heartfelt intent and mere thought impulses. However, I did make sure to feel the fear, to experience the sensation of the new belief, as it dawned in my system. It is not merely a thing for the mind alone. All senses are involved. It's really a holistic process, that touches upon all levels.(spiritual, mental, emotional and physical). One question remains: what will the ripple effect and new creation of this change bring into my world?

My training has influenced me to seek balance. I am aware that the stark opposite belief is not a point of balance. Whenever I try on the belief of "some people will listen, some people won't" however, it feels wrong. I am also aware, that I may fall flat on my face with my "Everybody listens" belief, but for some reason, this is where I'm going at this point in time. As easy as creating this new connection was, I am certain when the time comes to alter or adjust this new belief, I will know and be able to react to what I experience in my world.

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