Thursday, November 18, 2010

Coming of Age

In the name of justice I declare the absolute need for balance. Balance and compensation for what I have given out this lifetime. I do not wish to reap in a future life time, it was promised to me this time around and I will not back down from this place, at least not today.

It took 47 years of fulfilling my part of contracts, bargains, requests which came in my perception from the depth of the universe. All for the good of mankind, for the cleansing of my patterns, for the clearing of any and all karma. I have done each and every thing that was before me and as of yesterday, it dawned on me that the grand prize has been withheld, oh no, at first it was given, but then yanked away from me, due to what is called "free will".

Oh it was not the time to dive into the abyss of victimhood. I have clearly summoned all the power that is available to me, no in fact, all the power that IS me. Helpers whom I have long since recognized to be there at all times were stunned at the display of grabbing hold of all this energy, this power. They literally were silenced. I think I may have startled them a bit. That's OK. It is in this righteous, holy fury, in which I have bathed myself yesterday, expressed it loudly in my empty house. Oh I shook my fist towards the heavens so to speak. I shouted and cried, I felt the energy surges go through me in waves of sheer pure light, it was blindingly white, dazzling and extremely powerful. I have hardly been able to contain it all in my physical frame and for sure it felt I was going to dissolve into this white energy of purity, the raw blank of creation.  I must have glowed and radiated on the energetic levels like a christmas tree. No matter - the storm is,  today, on it's way out. It has not done any damage, but the air is cleansed now that the reservoir of pure potential is tapped.

This is not a moment of wild, child like temper tantrum, as I have lived through frequently in my past. This is a moment of renewal, of coming of age. It is the moment of stepping into the place where I own who I am fully. I own the full amount of power that is ME - on all the planes of existence. And the helpers are silent, for what else can they say to this ?

I am probably today, as floored as they are. Still extremely insistent on getting my way - it's my right, it's justice that needs fulfilled. It is with this sensation of absoluteness that I go about creating my new life - from this moment forth. Everything, and I mean truly everything is possible in this state of full integration of all of my power. There is nothing humble about it. I feel that since I have opened this well, tapped into it, ladled out a share for taste, I am ready for the responsibility this brings. May I use it for the highest good.

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